Lemonade Life

Once More, With Feeling

2007-07-03T05:34:00.000-07:00

My new blog isn't up on Headlines yet, so I guess I should probably keep posting here until it happens.

A couple new posts are up at the new blog... including a meme!

You know you want to.

2007-06-29T06:37:00.001-07:00

Hey. You.

Over here.

www.lemonade-life.com

Because I Like to Make Your Life Difficult

2007-06-28T10:40:00.000-07:00

In addition to the challenges of finding a car and finding an apartment, acclimating to humidity and suffering through New Jersey freeways, I have also dealt with the pain-in-the-ass-ness that is Yahoo! Web Hosting.

A few weeks ago I decided to switch to Wordpress. I thought it would be easy. I have a domain, I'll just get Wordpress to forward it like Blogger does.

Wordpress doesn't forward. It wants the URL to forward to Wordpress.

So that's what I attempted to do.

In fact, in the process of attempting to get Yahoo to forward to Wordpress, I managed to permanently sever the link between Yahoo and Blogger, which is why Lemonade Life suddenly reverted back to the blogspot.com address.

Except, the Yahoo service that I chose doesn't allow domain forwarding, although it's one of the most basic things you can do. Instead, I had to switch service plans.

Which I have been attempting to do for the last week.

Each time I attempt to do it, I get a technical error. It tells me to call customer service, but I'm at work and busy and don't have time. Meanwhile, it has charged me nine times for an order it claims to have canceled.

Ridiculous!

So I give up.

I have gone to GoDaddy.com and ordered a brand-spanking-new URL that is still Lemonade Life related so hopefully it won't be too hard to remember.

It's: www dot lemonade dash life dot com.

Or: www.lemonade-life.com.

Or: www.lemonlemonade.wordpress.com.

All will work.

I am sorry to make everyone change their links again, but I am fed up with Yahoo and it's crappy service. Besides, GoDaddy is vastly cheaper than the service I currently have, which as a starving entry-level workerbee, I desperately, desperately need.

Apologies again but, uh, deal.

Won't Tell This Story

2007-06-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

I found this link from a friend's blog.

It is about a man who met three other men in a small town in Indiana.

It is about a beating, a death, and a discovery.

And it is about a hate crime that will go unnoticed because hate crimes don't exist in Indiana courts.

His name is Aaron Hall and if you haven't heard about him, you're not alone.

His story.

Many Good Things

2007-06-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

Number One:

I have an apartment!

A real live actual apartment that is mine for the next year!

My advice: Never move across the country without having a place to live. Very, very difficult.

Number Two:

I am going on my first business trip!

And guess where it is?

Give up?

BlogHer '07.

That's right. My company is paying to have me go to a blogging conference.

I think I can feel Julia's death rays from here...

Let the taunting begin!

Actually, one of the reasons why I am going is because they have a session on Mommybloggers, so I will definitely be taking notes and reporting back after the conference, which takes place in Chicago on July 27 and 28. I'm also going to a session on online communities, also beneficial for the D.O.C. as well as one of foodblogging. There are a few other sessions that are open for me right now, so if you see something on the schedule that you would have wanted to check out, let me know and I'll see if I can go and take notes.

P.S. Thanks to Kevin for christening me Lemonhead.

On My Lunch Hour

2007-06-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

Stolen from, uh, everyone.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Allison
2. I don't have any other nicknames.
3. This makes me sad.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eyes. I have my mother's eyes.
2. My nose. My mother says I have the perfect nose, though I don't know what makes it so perfect.
3. The patch of freckles on my right shoulder.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My thighs.
2. My stomach.
3. My hair. It never behaves.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Hungarian.
2. Swedish.
3. German.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. New Jersey freeways. Oh dear G-d.
2. Losing a friend or family member.
3. Right when a plane lands. Everything else about flying is fine, but I'm always afraid the plane won't stop and we'll plow into the airport, killing hundreds of people before bursting into flames.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Insulin, duh.
2. Coffee, duh.
3. Electricity - so my computer will turn on, my phone can charge, the lights will turn on, the A/C can work... you get the picture.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. White t-shirt
2. Floral skirt from New York Company
3. Brown Sketchers.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE MUSICALS:
1. The Lion King
2. Movin' Out
3. Chicago

The last two of which I actually saw on Broadway. The Lion King was in Portland.

THREE OF YOUR [sort of current] FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Talk by Coldplay
2. Satellite by Guster
3. Faster Kill Pussycat by Paul Oakenfold

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Honesty
2. Respect
3. Laughter

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS THAT YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE:
1. A sea of clouds at 37,000 ft.
2. Mt. Hood. I grew up by it and a mountain range is one thing I miss about the West Coast.
3. The city of Paris from the top of Notre Dame.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Walking aimlessly around cities.
2. Writing.
3. Shopping.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Get a lease to my apartment.
2. Go to Manhattan.
3. Finish getting my car registered.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Diabetes educator. Not that it will ever happen, but that doesn't stop me from considering it.
2. Magazine writer.
3. Account executive.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Israel.
2. New Zealand.
3. Boston.

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Sage.
2. Connor.
3. Natalie.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Visit the birthplace of Jesus.
2. Be in a movie.
3. Get married, have children.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. I cry at sappy commercials. Well, I may not cry, but I'll want to.
2. I hit like a girl. So says my father. To which I respond: "I am a girl!"
3. Shopping always makes feel better.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I can read maps. I navigated France, Georgia and New Jersey without ever having been there before.
2. Which means I have a great sense of direction. Except in New Jersey, where the roads follow absolutely no logical order.
3. I know how a computer works.

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Moby. Except he's, like, 40.
2. Zach Braff.
3. Chris Meloni from L&O: SVU.

Did you miss me?

2007-06-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

I'm here!

I have been in New Jersey for a week and of course promptly broke my blog soon after so that I couldn't tell you all the exciting thing that have happened.

The first thing that happened to me was the flu.

Yes, that's right. My body must hate me flying more than I do, because I get sick quite often after flights. It's not fun. So I spent all of Friday asleep or watching reruns of What Not To Wear.

I finally managed to sneak out of the house on Saturday to visit a rental agent and pick up my dad from the airport.

On Sunday, we found me a car. A nice red 2001 Ford Focus. We spent about an hour and a half at this couple's home just talking. They recommended things to do in Atlantic City and my dad and the husband made fun of me and the wife about the lack of respect towards our vehicles (we're messy).

My dad and I ventured down to the shore later that day, which was a lot of fun except we realized you have to pay to use the beach. That is ridiculous. People don't own the beach. That's like owning the forest. Weirdos.

We drove up Route 35 trying to find something to eat when we realized: People in New Jersey don't eat. We couldn't find a single restaurant. So we elected to drive all the way back and had dinner at a nice Italian restaurant in Hoboken, about four blocks from the Hudson river. Then we had water ice, a.k.a. my reason for life.

I started work on Monday, though I haven't done a terrible amount of work because I've been so consumed with finding an apartment. Rental agents suck. Don't use them. I should have known better, but I am naive and hopeful.

I think I have found my apartment though, which is exciting, but I am not sure yet if it's a one hundred percent go. I won't know if I passed the credit check until Monday.

My dad is leaving on Sunday and my mom and younger brother are arriving next Friday and they will be here until July 8.

That's all the exciting news so far. There might be something else coming up, but it's not for sure so I will just keep everyone posted.

My new blog should premiere some time next week, God-willing. I don't have my computer yet so I have to do all this from work.

Okay, back to work!

Landed

2007-06-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

Safely and soundly.

I really wanted to write my first blog post from my new blog on Wordpress.com, but the domain forwarding feature on Yahoo isn't working presently, so that's going to have to come later.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted and actually won't be writing much of a post other than to say: I'm here.

More later.

Making a Difference

2007-06-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

JDRF created a new website for the impending Children's Congress 2007 a few weeks ago. They have been featuring blog posts by delegates and politicians who discuss the importance of Children's Congress and their hope for finding a cure. They also list the latest news articles about the delegates, they have a Flickr photo gallery so you can see what Children's Congress looks like and you can read the biographies of this year's delegates.

Today, JDRF is featuring a post I wrote about Children's Congress and why I think advocacy is important.

You can read it here.

Also, I have less than 24 hours until I leave for New Jersey and my room is a complete and total disaster.

An Interview with Myself.

2007-06-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

So, when do you leave for New Jersey?

Thursday, June 14.

And when do you start work?

Monday, June 18.

Isn't that cutting it kind of close?

Indeed it is.

Do you have a place to live?

No, I'm going to live under the George Washington Bridge for awhile. Maybe check out the Brooklyn Bridge while I'm at it. Oh, and there's always hanging with the pidgeons in Central Park.

And if it starts to rain I'm going to sleep on Scott Strumello's couch.

Are you serious?

Actually, Scott lives a little far from my job... Oh, you mean about sleeping under bridges? No, of course not.

So where are you really staying?

At my dad's cousin's house in New Jersey. Then a hotel. Hopefully I'll find an apartment soon.

Are you driving out there?

It is not humanly possible to leave Oregon on Thursday and drive to New Jersey to start work on Monday. Unless I was Danica Patrick and drove 125 miles the entire time.

How is your stuff getting there?

Pick up my suitcase and find out. Oh, and the fine folks at UPS are picking up the slack.

Are you scared?

No, I trust the brown suits.

No, I meant about moving, leaving your friends and family and cute little kitty cat, for many months, possibly even years, to trek out into the while ~~blue~~ gray yonder of New Jersey...

Are you finished?

Yes.

I am a little scared.

Are you excited?

No, I find the entire experience dreadfully dull.

Of course I'm excited.

Are you going to miss your family?

Who?

Oh come on.

Yes, I'll miss my family. But not for very long. Dad arrives this Saturday, and my mum and brother arrive two weeks later. Then I will miss them.

So, what exactly are you doing in New Jersey?

I'm working at a PR agency.

Doing what?

I'll be a New Media Coordinator.

What does that mean?

Um, I think it might have something to do with blogs. Wikis, perhaps? You know, all that new-fangled technology kids are messing around with these days. But I'm not really sure...

Oh, brilliant.

I'll get back to you.

Well, thank you for taking the time to answer all these questions. People have been wondering about your Big Move.
Ah, no problem at all. My pleasure actually.

Well, thank you again. Good-bye!

Cheers!

Dr. Bernstein, Meet Your Worst Nightmare

2007-06-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

Me: I think I'm high.
Me: I think forgot to bolus for some chips...
Me: And I was high before I even went to the bbq
Christine: yesterday i bolused for a sandwich and forgot to eat it
Christine: go me!
Me: fuck.
Me: I think my body is ignoring insulin right now.
Christine: what are you?
Me: you don't want to know.
Christine: great
Christine: bad site?
Me: No I just put a new one in.
Me: I think it might be the insulin and/or air bubbles.
Me: I am a number that should not be repeated out loud.
Christine: lol
Christine: over 400?
Me: yep
Me: second time today!
Me: go me!
Christine: good grief girl!
Christine: start a new bottle
Me: I think Dr. Bernstein would probably just take me out back to a shed and get it over with.

Later that night....

Me: OMG
Me: You know how it says on the meter to "check code" each time you turn it on?
Christine: yeah
Me: Guess who should have been doing that all week!!!!
Me: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Christine: uh oh
Christine: you really weren't 446!

Even later...

Me: I think I'm going low too
Mes: haha. 55 mg/dl.
Me: Wonderful.
Christine: wow
Me: My day keeps getting better...
Christine: that was quite the drop
Christine: want some goldfish?
Me: I probably wasn't really 447.
Me: And I took a ton of insulin.
Christine: yep
Christine: now you need to post a renig on your blog
Christine: after you juice up
Me: what do you mean?
Christine: you said on your blog you were 447
Christine: but....you weren't
Me: oh...
Me: true.
Christine: bernstein won't hate you anymore
Me: ha
Christine: you're right in his target range
Me: he'll just think i'm an idiot.
Christine: but a well controlled one

Today's Lesson: Always always check your test strip code!

Dream Your Own Pump

2007-06-08T12:25:00.001-07:00

The folks at Medtronic Minimed are looking for your thoughts on how to design the best insulin pump! Engineers are hard at work on the Paradigm 2 and they have solicited Wil at LifeAfterDX to help garner input on what should be included in the new design.

Hop over to Wil's blog to read his wish list and post a your thoughts! Who knows? You might see your brilliant idea in Minimed's next marketing campaign!

Hodgepodge

2007-06-07T15:39:00.001-07:00

Number One: I shipped the first three boxes via UPS today. I got lost finding the place. Actually, I didn't really get lost as I knew exactly where I was, it's that I had no idea where I was supposed to be going. Then I discovered the UPS store I was going to was the "pick-up" only location (I had gone there to pick up pump supplies) so I had to turn around and go back home to look up a location I could ship from. Quite annoying. Total for 3 boxes: $47. I took the fourth box home and I am determined to shove the contents into my suitcase, even if that means breaking a zipper.

Number Two: One week!

Number Three: I'm currently working on a new wordpress version of my blog. I am really liking the new format a lot better than this one, and I'm hoping to reveal it later next week. Oooo, anticipation and excitement! You know it.

Number Four: I hate moving more than anything in this world. So here's a meme instead:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I need to get my skin clearer before I start work. I look like I'm in high school.

2. How much cash do you have on you? I have probably $2 in change, but no cash.

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR? Gore.

4. Favorite planet? Pluto and it *is* a planet no matter what those silly scientists says!

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? I don't actually have a missed call list. I have a Received Call list that checks the people I actually answered. The fourth number on the list that does not have a check by it is my mother's work number.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Right now I have the beginning to "Layla" by Eric Clapton, but I also like "Dance, Dance, Christa Paffgen" by Anberlin.

7. What shirt are you wearing? A blue t-shirt from American Eagle. It's the blue t-shirt from my photo shoot on Flickr and Facebook.

8. Do you label yourself? Only when necessary.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing: Del Sol. They are flip-flops with straps that change color in the sun.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Normal light?

11. Why is there always a missing question? Wizard's First Rule: People are stupid. And they can't count.

12. What does your watch look like? It's a small, pager-like box with a clear tube coming out of one end... Oh yeah, it's not a watch. It's an insulin pump.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Working on my new blog and watching The Nanny.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? It's been such a long time since I got a text it's not longer on my phone.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? I know there is one by campus, and that's about 3 miles away.

16. What's a word that you say a lot? "Awesome." It's terrible. I need to expand my vocabulary desperately.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My mom

18. Last furry thing you touched? My cat, Emma.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Just one - insulin.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? You develop film? I don't understand the question...

21. Favorite age you have been so far? Seventeen was a pretty good year. I can't think of much that went wrong my senior year in high school.

22. Your worst enemy? I don't have one. I certainly wouldn't say diabetes because I think of an enemy as someone or something that has a personal vendetta against you. I don't think diabetes hates me. It's a disease, it's not doing this because it doesn't like me.

23. What is your current desktop picture? The Pacific from the cliffs of Mendocino, CA.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? I think I said something like "Thanks" when I was at Taco Bell.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? Million dollars. You can invest it and then buy an airplane, thus having money and the ability to fly.

26. Do you like someone? As in a boy? A special someone? No, I don't.

27. The last song you listened to? A song by Rhianna. I don't remember the name. Not "Umbrella" and not "Pon de Replay." The other other single.

28. What time of day were you born? 10:48 p.m.

29. What's your favorite number? 7.

30. Where did you live in 1987? With my parents, I think we had just moved from the Brown House in Beaverton to our current house in the Quaint Little Suburb of Portland.

31. Are you jealous of anyone? I envy certain aspects of different people's lives (especially the ones with boyfriends or fiances... I am alone... oh so alone...), but there isn't someone who I would love to be or anything.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? Of course. Look at me. I'm like so totally awesome and wonderful. Gah. I certainly hope no one is jealous of me. What a waste of time...

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? When the planes hit the towers, I was asleep. I'm on the West Coast, so I believe it was between 5 and 6 a.m. PST when it happened... I heard about it on the radio when I woke up. The first tower was already down when I went into my parents room to find out why Brian Williams was on Z100. I watched the second tower fall in our family room.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? I walk away, pissed.

35. Do you consider yourself kind? I try to be. I know I'm not always, but it's a goal.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Ankle or the small of my back. Something I could hide easily or at least wouldn't be too noticeable.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? I took 7 years of French and can barely speak a word of it, so it would be nice to learn that again. I would also like to learn Italian and Hebrew.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? Yes.

39. Are you touchy-feely? I used to be, but now I'm very sensitive about who touches me. Hugs are good, but people who touch my arms, shoulders, hair or back make me nervous for some reason. Especially men.

40. What's your life motto? I have a few. First, the obvious, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." I also like "Living well is the best revenge" and "Tis better to light one small candle than to forever curse the darkness."

41. Name three things you have on you at all times: Clothes of some kind. That's really about it. There isn't anything I wear always.

42. What's your favorite town/city? Can I pick three? New York City, Paris, and San Francisco. Though not necessarily in that order.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Coffee yesterday, I think. Not sure.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? I sent out handwritten notecards to everyone who received a graduation announcement.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? Nope. I get it done by professionals. Knowing me, I'd blow the car up or something.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? I don't even know if I have had a first love. I think they were mostly just crushes that broke my heart. I have never had a boyfriend. Though out of my crushes, one disappeared completely, one is going to college in Portland, and three are engaged.

47. How far back do you know your ancestry? I can go back five generations, which I believe is my great-great-great-grandfather Josef Balacz.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? I wore a black shirt with lace trim, dark jeans and black heels that don't fit me. It was to the OCapalooza dinner in Manhattan.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? My back, but it always hurts. I have a crummy bed.

50. Have you ever been burned by love? Of course. It's why I hate college.

51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers? Super George! Oh c'mon, look at him! You know you have a crush on him too. I bet even Scott has a crush on him! Hehe. I'm kidding, of course... Or am I? (No, I really am kidding.)

52. Where would you like to live? I would love to live overseas for awhile. Maybe London, or even Israel with my cousin Lauren. I think that would be really interesting.

Technicality Question

2007-06-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

As you know, I am moving to the East Coast next week.

(And if you didn't know, this is obviously the first post you've ever read here.)

I have been writing a couple new biographies, trying to explain that I am from the West Coast (Oregon) and moving to the East Coast (New Jersey), but I keep stumbling across this issue of how to phrase where I am from.

Am I an East Coast transplant or a West Coast transplant?

I am so confused. It makes sense to me either way so I don't know what to put. Do you refer to the place that you are going to or where you are from?

Sigh.

Please, somebody tell me the proper way to write this!

Thanks in advance.

My Life in Boxes

2007-06-05T10:22:00.001-07:00

Everything I own is either in boxes or on the floor. I have spent the last week or so sorting through old notebooks, school papers, clothes, and books trying to figure out what was worth hauling to the other side of the country and what just needed to be hauled out permanently.

I sorted through my library and ended up with two paper bags and a cardboard box full of books. I went to the Powell's warehouse in Northwest Portland on Saturday and made $52, which I then promptly spent on food, a movie ticket to Spiderman 3 and a tank of gas. I still have another bag of books that I missed, so it looks like I will be heading back to one of the many Powell's outlets in Portland.

I think out of everything there is in Portland, I am going to miss Powell's Bookstore the most. Probably in the entire state...

I have definitely been making sure to visit everything I love about Oregon during my last few weeks here. That makes it sound like I'm dying, but honestly, I don't know when I'm coming back. My parents were already talking about coming out to New York for Christmas, and I don't think there's much reason to fly across the country for Thanksgiving. Too much time in a plane for such a short time on the ground.

This past weekend I was in Portland for our family portraits, which turned out well. Then while I waited for the staff at Powell's to decide which books they wanted, drove across one of Portland's twelve bridges to St. John, which is north north Portland. Walked around. Went low. Had a mango juice from Mexico. Mmm, tasty mangos.

I attended my last church service in Portland on Sunday. Watched a television show about morbidly obese people with my mother and then we went to Starbucks.

I have six days left in Eugene. I probably will never ever come back. There is a lot that I still haven't done here, but I am very glad to be leaving. I did not have the greatest college experience someone could have, but I did learn a lot about myself and other people, so I suppose that's the only thing anyone can really ask for.

Part of Me

2007-06-01T16:58:00.001-07:00

I wore a dress today.

It's green and pink and purple and aqua and has all these crazy shapes. I bought it almost two years ago and the only time I remember wearing it since then was in Orlando at the Volunteers Reception at the Friends for Life Conference.

It was warm today and I didn't have any other clean summer clothes.

This afternoon I was driving to Espresso Roma, the coffeeshop near campus where I went often during college. I was thinking about how I was going to bolus if I ate anything there. I thought "I guess I will have to go into the bathroom so I don't flash anyone."

I thought about how hungry I was because I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. I had gone to breakfast with a good friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in a few months. I was hungry and I wondered what my blood sugar was.

I don't know why I left the house without testing. I usually do if it has been more than half an hour after I last tested or ate. I guess I was in a rush.

I remembered I didn't take my Lantus that morning. It was five hours past when I was supposed to take it, and I wondered why I didn't feel sicker.

The traffic was slow, almost stopped, so I pulled out my meter and tested while driving, thinking I would need to go home to put on something that would allow easy clippage of the pump.

I was 193 mg/dl. I don't remember taking the Lantus, but then again, maybe I did?

I decided to not eat anything and I bolused two units.

----

When I left Roma almost two hours later, I pulled out my iPod. Tangled in the headphone cord was a syringe. I smiled and dropped the syringe back in my bag.

---

As I left the bathroom inside the coffeeshop, I spotted a test strip on the back porch where we like to drink and talk outside. I was surprised to see it there because I had not tested at the coffeeshop that day. Maybe it fell out of my bag when I got out my book, Life After God. I thought about picking it up, but I didn't.

The strip has my blood in it, so it's like part of me is still actually there.

--

12 more days.

-

I tested just now. I am 83 mg/dl.

Maybe the diabetes stayed at the coffeeshop too.

Later that night: I must have taken Lantus because my post-dinner reading is 100 mg/dl. Either that or I've got one of those screwy Ultra 2 meters and it's lying to me. Oh well. I'm not worrying about it.

Meme from the D-Moms

2007-05-30T00:31:00.000-07:00

10 Years ago...

1.) How old were you: 11
2.) Where did you go to school: ****** Middle School
4.) Where did you live: Suburb of Portland, Oregon.
5.) Where did you hang out: my bedroom, my backyard, the fire station where we had Girl Scout meetings.
6.) Did you wear glasses: yes, my eyesight actually started going in 6th grade and it freaked me out. I thought I was getting complications. Turns out I just have sucky eyesight.
7.) Who was your best friend: Jenny
8.) Who was your regular-person crush: Ryan
10.) How many piercings did you have: 1 in each ear.
11.) What car did you drive: I was eleven...
12.) Had you been to a real party: Does real constitute "one that serves alcohol"? If so, no.
13.) Had your heart broken: No.
14.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Single, c'mon.

Five years ago...

1.) How old were you: 16
2.) Where did you go to school: Suburb of Portland High School.
3.) Where did you work: just babysitting
4.) Where did you live: Suburb of Portland, Oregon
5.) Where did you hang out: Sharis, Julia's house
7.) Who was your best friend: didn't really have one... I had a large group of friends my junior and senior year in high school.
8.) Who was your regular-person crush: Nathan
9.) How many tattoos did you have: none
10.) How many piercings did you have: still just 1 in each ear.
11.) What car did you drive: Buffy, my Nissan Sentra.
12.) Had you been to a real party: I'm going to go with yes.
13.) Had your heart broken: Yes
14.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Single

Present Day...

1.) How old are you: 21
2.) Where do you go to school: graduated!
3.) Where do you work: three weeks away from working at a PR agency
4.) Where do you live: Oregon for 14 more days.
5.) Where do you hang out: Roma, Max's, my apartment, Sharis, my house.
6.) Do you wear glasses: I wear contacts now.
7.) Who is your best friend: still don't have one.
8.) Who is your regular-person crush: I actually don't have a crush on anyone.
9.) How many tattoos did you have: None.
10.) How many piercings do you have: Six - two in left, three in the right, and my nose.
11.) What car do you drive: Buffy! But I'm getting a new car soon.
12.) Had you been to a real party: Definitely a yes now.
13.) Had your heart broken: Yes.
14.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Single and becoming bitter...

Four Years

2007-05-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

This past week marked the fourth anniversary of Dr. Hansen's passing. Because yesterday was Memorial Day, I decided to submit in my 1st annual D-Blog Day post to this weeks Grand Rounds over at From Medskool.

If you're new to this blog or don't know me very well, I suggest you read this post.

In other news:

Change of plans once again. Father unit is not driving across the country. Yeah, I knew that wouldn't last very long. Back to the original plan of him flying out a few days after me (this minimizes the amount of work he misses).

I'm kind of sad, though. I was looking forward to buying a car this weekend.

I also cut and highlighted my hair this weekend. What a disaster! Highlights were sheer blond against my dark brown hair, and it look ridiculous. Parents insisted it looked fine, but considering this was the day before we were supposed to have family portraits done, I insisted we cancel until we got my hair looking normal again. Of course, this means I have to drive another 200 miles roundtrip again. I'm really getting sick of the Oregon I-5 corridor.

15 more days. I have five boxes now.

Who's Excited!?!

2007-05-25T10:30:00.001-07:00

Headlines is baaaaaaack!!!

Hells yeah!

I don't know where it went, I don't know what went wrong, and frankly, I don't care! I'm just happy it back!

---

Got home last night after spending four hours the movie theater. One hour for waiting in line, three hours for the movie.

Yes, three hours.

It was as hilarious and swashbuckling as the first two, though I have to say, this one is slightly...how shall I say... odd. See for yourself.

Oh! Stay until the end of the credits! REPEAT. Stay until the end of the credits!

If you don't stay until the end of the credits, email me and I will tell you what happens.

---

20 days!

Three Weeks

2007-05-24T13:17:00.000-07:00

I am leaving for New Jersey in exactly three weeks. I have four boxes packed. Small boxes.

I have finished the graduation announcements and my tongue has recovered. Why didn't I use a sponge? Because contrary to popular belief, I'm not very bright.

I put pictures from my graduation picture photo shoot up on Flickr. Facebook people have already seen these, but if you're not on Facebook (and why not?!) you can see them here. The pictures were taken by my friend Jenny at Torrey Pines in Del Mar, California during the CWD Pumping conference (though I was already on the TOTO technique, so I'm not actually wearing the pump in any of the pictures).

Tonight, Pirates of the Carribean is opening in theaters. Guess who is going to the 11:41 p.m. showing?!? Oh you know there's going to be dressing up, long lines, card games, and oggling Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom.

Tomorrow I am having lunch with Lori.

My dad has decided that we are going to buy me a car here in Oregon and he is going to drive it across the country with all my crap by himself. He's crazy, but I get to go car-shopping this weekend!

I went to Target last night to buy boxes and I also bought some cheap popcorn. Don't buy cheap popcorn. You don't get a lot and it burns easily. I went through two bags already. And I have mixed feelings about this new Peach Citrus Fresca. I like original Fresca. Not too keen on this new stuff.

I have to go pack now. I hate packing.

Edit: Oh yeah, and my article on blogging and diabetes management is in this month's Diabetes Self-Management. Silly me.

Dependent Much?

2007-05-22T15:05:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who had a mild panic attack this morning upon discovering that Diabetes Headlines and the entire Diabetes Daily website was down?

I think I have become just a smidge too reliant upon that service to keep me connected to the rest of the O.C. I mean, when you have just under two hundred blogs listed in the Diabetes O.C. directory (we have not yet hit 200, trust me, I counted), having a service that tells you exactly which ones have been updated is not only valuable and convenient, it's a bloody necessity!

David! Elizabeth! Please come back from your honeymoon! We neeeeeeeed you!!!

In other news:

Excessive dining out, alcohol and my monthly cycle has my meter average slowly but surely making its way up to 200 mg/dl.

Aside from the medical emergency Saturday morning, the rest of the weekend was quite lovely. I drove up on Wednesday to surprise a friend who was back from college. My car was about 10,290 miles overdue for an oil changed so on Thursday I did that as well as finally buying test strips and Lantus.

I was introduced to two French public service announcements on AIDS and condom use. There's a straight version and gay version.

My friend who works at Portland's concert venue The Crystal Ballroom got us into the Joss Stone show on Friday. Fabulous! Really great show. We stood backstage in the security area and pretended to be security guards when Joss Stone passed by the audience.

I spent most of Saturday watching the Heroes marathon. I love Heroes. The finale was amazing. I cried, a little.

I've spent today and yesterday printing out my senior photo for my graduation announcements and now my tongue tastes like glue. I am never graduating ever again.

Suspicions Confirmed

2007-05-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

Two hours after everyone left for the hospital, my mother calls me and asks me to pick her up.

"He's fine, but the doctors can't really figure out anything that's wrong," she tells me.

Typical doctors, right?

Other than pumping him full of saline and giving him some Tylenol, there really wasn't much that needed to be done. He was home by lunch and slept for most of the afternoon.

Although it seems that this was pretty much just a case of dehydration and/or low blood pressure from being sick, the irony of it being Eric and not me didn't escape anyone.

And that I think is why I was more compelled to write about this whole experience. My brother, the "healthy" one, happened to faint in a house with three people. But I, the "unhealthy" one, the one with the far greater odds of that happening (although it has yet to happen ::knock on wood::), am about to move to the other side of the country.

"Are you sure you still want to move to the East Coast?" my dad joked. It's not too late to change my mind, of course. I'm still here, fully capable of turning down the job and canceling my plane ticket. Of course, I don't want to.

I know there are plenty of people who live successfully by themselves with diabetes. I've been doing it for awhile myself. But there was something unnerving about having that happened just weeks before I move across the country to live by myself.

For those who have lived by yourself with diabetes, what kind of safety precautions did you do to keep yourself as safe as possible? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Edit: Comments are fixed! No idea how they got turned off for this post, but thanks to Bernard for the head's up! Okay - ideas please!

Wait, You've Got the Wrong Blass!

2007-05-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

"Call the ambulance! Call the ambulance!"

My eyes flutter open. I feel slightly nauseated. But I am alone.

I hear my mother yelling outside my bedroom door.

"Eric, what's wrong?!"

My parents yell back and forth about what they think is happening and about what they think happened that led to my brother lying on the floor of our upstairs bathroom.

"I think he just passed out," my father is saying.

I'm not sure whether the mention of a possible seizure happened before or after my mother's request for an ambulance, but I do know it was a theory.

Sequestered in my room, waiting for my parents to figure things out before emerging, I tried to figure out myself what could have happened while eavesdropping.

I'm the diabetic, remember? Aren't I supposed to be the one having a seizure or passed out on a bathroom floor?

"Medical." I hear my father on the phone with 911. He gives them my brother's stats. My mother takes the phone and explains what happened. Minutes later I hear the firetruck's sirens coming down our street.

"What's his name?" an EMT asks.

"Eric."

"How old is he?"

"17."

My father explains what they think happened. "He was feeling sick for the past couple of days, complaining of a stomach ache and extra fatigue. He was feeling pretty sick last night. He came into the bathroom this morning and we heard a crash. I think he just passed out."

Tiptoe-ing to the window, I peer out and see the ambulance and the firetruck at the end of our driveway. I can see the head's of some of the paramedics, bodies and actions blocked by the shingles of our roof.

Then they roll out my brother, strapped to a stretcher.

As soon as they leave, I come out and walk down the stairs. My mother is staring out the window at the ambulance.

"Your brother passed out," my dad says.

"Yes, I know," I reply. "You woke me up about twenty minutes ago. I have to say I didn't expect to wake up to 'Get an ambulance!' this morning."

"We weren't expecting to have to get one."

We joked mildly about the Twilight Zone-ish feel of having my brother taken away in an ambulance after fainting while I'm standing in the kitchen, and though my blood sugar was pretty high from my girl's night out with friends, I certainly wasn't in any imminent danger of anything.

My parents just left for the hospital about twenty minutes ago. My dad says he'll call if anything happens, but the general theory is that my brother was either dehydrated, had low blood sugar or both from being sick and just fainted in the bathroom.

Hopefully he'll be home soon.

Been A Whole Week

2007-05-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

It's been exactly one week since I last posted, so obviously that must be I've been very busy with no time to post.

Not exactly.

Mostly I've still been bored, done nothing, and thus have nothing to write about.

I spent a couple evenings last week hanging out with friends at the bars. It's one of the nice things of not having to get up early in the morning (my 10 a.m. Lantus shot isn't early and I can just take it and fall back asleep). On Friday I drove an hour north to my parent's house. I watched television and ate Thai food. On Saturday we rented For Your Consideration, a Christopher Guest movie about a horrible little independent production that actually gets Oscar buzz before it's even finished filming. It's cute, not great, but cute. Very over the top. Well, of course, it's Christopher Guest.

Sunday was Mother's Day and I actually spent most of the day away from my mother. She went out with my dad in the afternoon to buy plants for the front yard and then we went out to dinner at The Spaghetti Factory. Despite my best efforts, didn't do such a hot job on the carb counting. Which I knew. It's kind of stupid when I do that. I know, or at least I think that I've eaten more carbs than I've bolused for, and yet even after I have finished eating and I know I didn't bolus right, I don't do anything. Hm. Strange. I need to stop that.

All in all, the TOTO technique is finally starting to shape up as a legitimate method to control now that I know what I'm doing!

Lastly, I would like to mention that the O.C. now has a group on Facebook, a social networking site that is open to everyone. It's way better than MySpace and you can join either your school network, work network or a regional network based on where you live. So you should sign up and be a part of the group! If you have any questions, just holler.

What Happens When You Have a Month to Kill

2007-05-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

Good news!

I got my start date pushed back!

Which means I have even more time to do NOTHING.

I am seriously going nuts here.

Well, it is a good thing, actually. You see, before I was moving to New Jersey four weeks before my family ~~was planning~~ could actually come help me find an apartment, buy a car, move furniture, et. al. Which meant I would have to find temporary housing and/or rent a car.

Do you have any idea how ridiculously hard and outrageously expensive it is to either stay in a hotel for three weeks or sublet an apartment and rent a car when you're under 25?!?

Really, really hard and expensive.

I would have spent more than my entire first *two* paychecks just to stay at a hotel. Uh, no thanks.

So I ~~pleaded~~ ~~begged~~ ~~threw myself at the mercy of the court~~ inquired if I could start two weeks later than original.

They said yes!

Now I can stay with my cousin for a week and rent a car for eight days (which, while still ridiculously expensive as an under-25-year-old, is slightly less ridiculous). Which is great.

Except for the fact that I still can't do anything. I mean, how am I suppose to know what apartments and cars are going to be available when I get there on June something-or-other? And I can't exactly ship a couch. I mean, I could. I'm not going to. But I could.

There just isn't a heck of a lot of stuff to do around here. Honestly, the highlight of my day was this video posted on Julia's blog.

I cleaned my room. I made cornbread tonight. I've gone on a few walks. I go to the park religiously now. Coffeehouse on campus with friends, in between their classes. Ooh! I finished Devil Wears Prada tonight. That made me happy. Considering I started it a month ago. Plodding my way through The Lovely Bones, but it's just so damn depressing.

A lot of time on the Internet. Ridiculous amounts of time. I think I have read every Facebook profile of every friend I have. Sex and the City almost every night. Hot Fuzz last Friday.

Okay, I guess there has been stuff to do. But it just seems like most of the time I'm sitting on the computer thinking of things I could be doing and then realizing that there really isn't that much to do. Other than get the dozen or so O.C. submission forms up in the Directoy. ::cringes:: I am a horrible person. I kept forgetting to star them so when I search my Gmail for "submisson forms" about eight popped up that I haven't done. Those will be up... soon...

Oh, and as far as that whole "TOTO technique" thing goes, yeah, still plugging along with that.

Lesson #1: Just because your CDE is an author, lectures across the country and has diabetes himself does not mean he knows everything. Case and point: I really do need two shots of Lantus. I tried evening. I tried morning. I tried 27 units, I tried 26 units, I tried 25 units. I tried different ratios. I switched my correction factor. I am either high or low. Luck of the draw. And if I happen to be a "middle" blood sugar, it's only because I happened to catch myself before I went low or high.

Lesson #2: When "tethering on," make sure to prime the tubing at least .5 unit to make sure you get rid of any sneaky air bubbles. Might help actually getting the insulin you need.

So, if anyone is considering the "TOTO technique" (my goal in life is to one-up Dr. Edelman), keep those two things in mind.

The TOTO Technique

2007-05-02T22:12:00.000-07:00

Christine and I devised this nickname for my own little "untethered" regime after deciding that I wasn't technically on Steve Edelman's Untethered Regime. On his regime, you take 75% of your basal as Lantus and wear the pump all the time. But I take 100% of my basal as Lantus and I don't wear the pump except for when I eat. So we decided it deserved it's own name: Tether On, Tether Off.

I haven't written much about it since I switched three weeks ago. At first, I had really good results. Then I had really lousy results. Now, I'm havning mixed results. My blood sugar average is actually better than it was before, but that's just because I'm swinging a lot more. I'm like the diabetic Tarzan.

The pattern was pretty clear and it was exactly what I expected. Lows first thing in the morning (on the pump, my lowest basal was between 3am-6am), a fairly stable afternoon once my bolus ratio was turned up a couple notches to make up for the lack of an increased basal rate, then a normal afternoon and dinner and then high at bedtime. It was pretty much like that everyday for awhile.

I kept lowering my Lantus hoping to kill the morning low, but so far, I've either woken up low or overkilled somewhere else and woken up high.

I decided a couple days ago to try splitting the dose to see if I could fake a basal rate change. 11 units of Lantus at 10 pm (I almost wrote bedtime, but what 21-year-old goes to bed at 10pm?) and 14 units of Lantus at 10 am. Today went surprisingly well in the afternoon, but I'm still high because I underbolused for dinner. Oh well. Can't prevent everything.

I actually think I might scrape the two shots a day theory in favor of doing Lantus in the morning. I think the reason why I am high at right at 10 pm (I do my post-dinner test when I take Lantus) is because the Lantus isn't lasting a complete 24-hours and I'm starting to creep up. Does that sound right, O Wise Lantus Users? Maybe if I switched to the morning, when I need less insulin, it would match things better.

At any rate, the TOTO Technique is definitely still in the adjustment period. Lantus amounts have changed, followed by bolus ratios changes. Hopefully something will finally kick in and work. However, I would like to say that I absolutely adore not having to sleep with my pump on. I had no idea how much I hated it until I stopped doing it. Not that it was the end of the world or anything.

Oh, and I bought my first pocketless skirt in New York. I still haven't found a dress that isn't completely unflattering with my pudgy stomach, but I'm quite happy being able to dress without thinking about the pump.

But boy am I happy I don't have to do bolus calculations. There are somethings that you just can't get from anywhere but an insulin pump

Falling Back to Earth

2007-04-30T00:11:00.000-07:00

The wonderful high of landing a full-time, salaried job one month out of college has now ended and I'm back to being an over-imaginative, highly anxious twenty-something who remembers that she has no idea how to take care of herself by herself.

Now that I have that whole job thing taken care of, I'm moving onto the other, equally important factors in the Next Step equation: finding temporary housing and transportation until my parents arrive in New Jersey four weeks after I do; determining how much money I'm actually going to make versus the salary and making a budget; finding an apartment (that I can afford!); buying a car; figuring out car insurance and health insurance (I have health insurance, but now I need to know what to do with it); finding a primary care doctor, endocrinologist, opthamologist and dentist (thank God I've got the CDE figured out already and that I'm not sexually active, thus in no need of gynocologist at the moment); buying furniture; and shipping all my clothes, books, pictures, knick-knacks and 50-odd shotglasses to my TBD apartment.

I have spent hours scouring Craigslist, Rent.com, apartment websites, hotel websites, rental car websites, cross-checking prices and locations. I practically have the entire map of Northern New Jersey memorized at this point.

I'm glad I decided to skip commencement. Part of me is a little disappointed that's how it worked out because I wanted to go. But adding another $300 plane ticket into the mix is looking more and more like a terrible idea.

Besides, the ceremony is at 9 in the morning. Who wants to spend seven hours to fly across for two days to attend a long-ass boring ceremony with complete strangers? I already have my diploma. I'm good to go.

In lieu of commencement, I'm having a graduation/going-away party on May 19 with my friends from high school and college. I'm excited about that, but I'm also sad because that's the last time I will see most of these people for a very long time.

Hopefully my proximity to NYC will be an incentive to have visitors.

One whole month until I'm there. And I can't even really do anything on my list until I get to New Jersey, which is really driving me nuts at this point. I hate waiting. I'm not a patient person.

I'm tired of these empty spaces, these answerless questions.

I know everything will work out.

I just wish I believed it too.

You Are All Wrong!

2007-04-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

The correct order from highest Glycemic Index to lowest Glycemic Index is the following:

Don't worry. I got it wrong too the first time I tried this.

This is a quick chart of the Glycemic Index of sugars:

As you can see, Fructose is smack dab in the middle of the Glycemic Index. Orange juice is literally in the middle with a GI of 52 (out of 100). The sugar that makes Rice Krispies is actually very similar to the sugar found in your glucose tablets, so that's why it's the fastest with a GI of 82.

Bagels come in second with a GI of 72. Bagels are a "branch-chained" starch, which means it kind of looks like a tree (Okay, that's how Gary described it... I'm not making this up). Because enzymes are able to break down more than one sugar molecule at a time, it doesn't take as long to digest. Straight-chained starches take long because you have to break it down one at a time. Potatoes and most breads are pretty high on the GI, with most being over 70 (except for pita bread and rye bread). Legumes and pasta tend to be lower on the GI.

The low-fat yogurt, being lactose, comes in last at 33.

So, if you're low, have a bowl of Rice Krispies by leave out the milk!

Also, coincidentally, dLife just posted a new article all about the Glycemic Index, so you can find out more by reading it.

Sometimes, You Just Need Two Posts in One Day

2007-04-24T17:30:00.001-07:00

Like when you get a job on the East Coast!

Exclamation mark times infinity!

I've been offered a job as 'New Media Coordinator' (or some such title) at MWW Group, which is located just across the Hudson in New Jersey.

And, yeah, I'm going to take it.

I start on June 4.

Which gives me exactly six weeks to: pack up, move belongings to Portland, prepare belongings for shipping, fly across the country, find an apartment, actually have belongings shipped, buy furniture, figure out if I need a car (::crosses fingers that I don't::) and basically organize my life.

First, I just wanted the preparation for New York to be over so I wouldn't have to worry about getting interviews.

Then I wanted the New York trip to be over so I wouldn't have to do the interviews.

Then I wanted the waiting period to be over because I didn't want to wait to hear back from anyone, I just wanted to know if I got a job.

Now I want this part to be over with because I don't want to go through the stress of actually moving and finding an apartment in a state that I've been in for exactly 24 hours. I just want it to be done already.

I'm hoping the trend will stop after this.

Bryant Park
Originally uploaded by amblass.

I think it's pretty safe to say we'll be celebrating my 22nd birthday in NYC.

You might want to go ahead and put the first weekend of August on your calendar.

Amendment to Post Before Last

2007-04-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

I am a horrible person and I left out Val and Wendy from my list of O.C. people I have met.

Please forgive me.

I think that brings my total to seventeen.

That is, if I didn't leave anyone else out...

My memory, not so good...

The Glycemic Index Quiz

2007-04-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

This Glycemic Index quiz is brought to you by Gary Scheiner...

This was a part of the "Preventing and Managing Hypoglycemia" lecture that he gave in La Jolla last weekend. If you were at the conference or if I have already given you the quiz, please refrain from commenting! I want to see how many people know this.

I will post the results in a couple days. Good luck!

Rank these in order of Highest GI (affects blood sugar the fastest) to Lowest GI (affects the blood sugar the slowest).

George Simmons is worth twenty-one cents

2007-04-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, after the conference, I went up to Oceanside to meet a certain wacky gentleman from the literal O.C. for dinner... and I believe I can claim to be the envy of all the O.C. when I say that I had dinner with the one, the only Mr. G-Money Simmons.

And folks, I have to tell you the truth.

He's funnier in person.

I don't think I have ever laughed so much in my entire life.

We talked about how the only way to lose weight is to choose foods you hate to eat. We talked about our ethnic backgrounds. We talked about spicy foods. We went to my favorite restaurant in Oceanside and we freaked out our waitress on more than one occasion (I swear, my new favorite thing to do is try to explain what "water ice" is and see people's expressions - classic).

I also discovered that George is worth twenty-one cents. Our waitress decided to give George back four dollars, even though the change was supposed to be $3.79. I concluded that George was obviously only worth 21 cents.

We drove around aimlessly in Escondido. I pronounced my last name for him so now he is one of five people in the world who can say it right (fyi: it does not rhyme with glass. Short "a" sound. British-ish).

He told me he doesn't like Cold Stones. We cussed a lot (Julia, I think you'd be proud).

He told me he doesn't like the beach. So naturally, that's where I insisted we go. Kerri, I don't understand it either. He told me he kept seeing signs for the beach, which I never saw, so I decided that he was going to drive to alley and murder me and steal my suitcase and post photographs of what kind of toothpaste I use (Aquafresh, if you were wondering). I tried to escape from the car but we got to the beach before I was successful.

This is George, not going onto the beach but staying firmly planted on the sidewalk.

This is us, schmucking it up for the camera.

A beautiful view of the Pacific Ocean.

Afterwards, George dropped me off at my grandma's and off he went... with my camera that I left in the front seat of his car. Needless to say I was on the phone with him the next morning.

So ends my 13th meeting with a member of the Diabetes O.C. Scott mentioned in George's comments that I was in the lead with meeting people from the O.C., which I'm not sure is even true. I know Kerri has met a lot of D-bloggers, but I'm not sure how many. In order of appearance, I have:

Jon Schlaman, Amy Tenderich, Lori Rode, BetterCell, Julia, Kate, Art-Sweet, Scott Strumello, Kerri Morrone, Gina Capone, Sean Hughes, George Simmons.

Edit: Scott posted his list and it made me realize that I left out a couple people. I have also met Kelly Close from Close Concerns and Tara Dairman from Diabetes Self-Management. I didn't really think of them as a bloggers, more as just writers. I met Amberthyme last weekend, although because I didn't know it was her, I'm not counting it as a real meeting. So I guess that brings me to 15 OC'ers.

As for the Minnesota trip that was also mentioned on George's blog, mostly it's just an overwhelming desire at this point. I know we'll eventually get to Minnesota, but right now, my finances need to recover from these two little escapades. And I need to find a job. But I'll keep you posted. Just like I do with everything else.

Tales of a Suitcase

2007-04-19T17:35:00.001-07:00

I have finally made it back to Oregon. I started this post when I was still in California, but I'm finishing it here in the 'burbs of Portland. So I've had to rewrite the entire intro, but the rest of it is still the same. Onward:

Let's see... where to begin?

The conference was great, albeit a bit repetitive at some points. The problem when you read a lot of blogs, talk with a lot of people with diabetes, and attend a lot of lectures and seminars about diabetes is you tend to notice that new information doesn't appear nearly as often as you would like. Read: NEVER.

I'm *still* hearing the stats of the DCCT study. Anytime I hear that acronym it makes me want to jump out of the nearest window...

That being said, it was a very productive conference. John Walsh and Ruth Roberts donated quite a few items for the OCNMC including Pumping Insulin and the My Other Checkbook (that's the logbook that looks like a checkbook), a Calorie King book, and an insulin garter holster. Angel Bear Pump Stuff donated a mousepad and lunchbox, and Lifescan/Johnson and Johnson donated two glucose meters, the new Ultra 2 and the Ultra Mini. I think I'm pretty much set for the year!

Edit: I don't think I explained this paragraph on pump sites very well, so I'm editing it a bit:

I also spent quite a bit of time talking with John Walsh who informed of a very interesting pump tactic that I had never heard of. When we were talking, he told me that he used this photograph from Kerri's St. John post (the one of her right thigh site on the beach) in a presentation recently. He says it's actually very damaging to the skin because of the tugging on the cannula. The reason is because if a pump is ever dropped or the tubing is tugged (i.e. if Kerri stood up or rolled over), it causes irritation at the pump site. John recommend using sports tape to tape down a portion of your insulin tubing near your site to minimize the amount of irritation that is caused where the cannula is. Supposedly it also helps with absorption, but mostly it just helps your skin! So there you go....

Symlin was also discussed quite a bit at the conference as a means to controlling post-meal blood sugars (duh) and while I maintain that I hate the drug because it's so damn painful, according to a member of my family that works for Amylin (FTWFA), that's very uncommon and probably not a very good reason to discourage people from taking it. So be it. According to FTWFA, the Symlin pen should be out this year. Maybe that'll make a difference in my body's reaction, maybe it won't. We'll just have to wait and see.

On Tuesday, I spent the night in La Jolla and saw FTWFA. We had a nice long discussion about diabetes, clinical trials and how they hardly ever happen for potentially awesome drugs because of how gosh darn expensive ($400 million anyone? Do *you* have $400 million?) and the Brazil trials, which he says (and he is a doctor, so he should know) will never happen in America because there is no way that the FDA would ever approve such a risky procedure unless it's done in other countries first. Part of me is mad about that because, hey, I want a cure, but on the other hand, removing the immune system, regenerating the pancreas using stem cells and the undergoing a bone marrow transplant to restart the immune system? Um. No thanks. I'd rather risk the chance of minor complications at thirty years from now than do *that*.

However, there was a bright side. FTWFA mentioned that doctors are theorizing (via anecdotal Byetta stories and studies like the mice at Toronto's Kid's Hospital) that our beta cells might not be completely dead after all. FTWFA told me that there is potential that our beta cells really are continually regenerating, but our immune system is programmed to kill off the beta cells as quickly as they appear. There is such an on-slaught of immune system fighters that the little beta cells never have a chance. But a couple Type 1 patients on Byetta (not that they are supposed to, it is NOT designed for Type 1s and they shouldn't be on it) are saying that they have reduced their need for insulin, so there is a possibility that the immune system just needs a little ass-kicking to back off of the beta cells. Now, this is *just* a theory and has in no way, shape or form, been studied in clinical trials. But given what happens to islet cell transplant patients and what happened in Toronto last December, it seems reasonable to think that diabetes is actually a continuing war, rather than just a one-time death.

Things to think about...

I also had another wonderful encounter with a member of the OC this past weekend...

I met George Simmons.

But this post is long enough. So I think I'll save that one for tomorrow.

My First Oops

2007-04-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well, technically this is probably my 55,670th oops when it comes to diabetes, but on this new "Unthethered Regime" (see post below), this is the first.

For the most part, things have been going smoothly (in the three days total I've been doing this...). Monday was rough with that 372 mg/dl, but on Tuesday and Wednesday, my numbers were actually normal, except for two bounces into the low 200s right at lunchtime.

On Wednesday, my flight was supposed to leave at 3:23 and didn't leave until an hour later, leaving me to kill a whole hour at the airport. Luckily, I am from Portland. Which means we have a Powell's bookstore *inside* the airport. After picking up a copy of Devil Wears Prada (I'd always wanted to read it and now seemed as good a time as any), I tested to see if I should have a diet soda or a smoothie - 83 mg/dl. Nice. I opted for the soda and chicken nuggets from Wendy's because the smoothie was a little too expensive (frickin' airport) for my wallowing wallet. Didn't bother reconnecting to bolus because I didn't think the nugget would do more than maybe a 20-30 point damage.

When I got on the airplane, I tested again to see if a temp basal was in order - 81 mg/dl. Huh. Okay, probably should leave the pump off. Two hours later when we landed in ~~dirty~~ ~~smoggy~~ ~~disgusting~~ sunny and beautiful Los Angeles, I tested to see how much damage a 2-hour flight and a mini-package of pretzels (seriously, why must they mock us with such small portions? They might as well just hand us a frickin' picture!) had done to my system - 230 mg/dl. Not bad. I've seen worse numbers coming off of a flight.

I met up with my friend, Christina, a fellow diabetic and journalist living right near the beach in LA county. We've known each other since my CureNow days, but this is actually the first time we've met. I'm all about meeting the imaginary internet weirdos. ;-) We drove to Barney's Beanery on the Santa Monica Third Steet Promenade for dinner and I tested at 144 mg/dl. Huge turkey burger with guac and bacon (mmmm) and onion rings (mmmmm) and bolused for 80 carbs. Possibly too conservative, but I didn't think I was that far out of the ballpark.

That's when things went downhill.

After dinner, we headed over to meet a friend of mine from high school at the Starbucks near the University of Southern California campus.

I hadn't seen her since last fall when she was up in Portland, so we chatted in line.

I ordered a Mocha Light Frappaccino (half the carbs! Only like 45 instead of 78 - yes, 78. I looked it up once).

We talked about agency work, interviews, finishing up school, Santa Monica, and the breakthrough stem cell research in Brazil.

And I forgot to take my Lantus.

When I tested at 10:30, my blood sugar was 353 mg/dl but when I tried to bolus, my pump said I had to much active insulin in me from bolusing for the frappaccino. It never even occurred to me that it had been an hour and a half since I was supposed to take my shot of Lantus.

On our way home, Christina and I stopped at McDonalds to get a couple of diet sodas -me thinking I was thirsty because I had been talking so much. When we got to her house, I finally realized the missing item to my evening.

I rang in at 453 mg/dl. Lovely.

Of course, not knowing quite what to do, I just took a shot of Lantus and went to bed. Hopefully the three-hour difference tonight won't be that big of a deal, though if anyone has any idea how to mitigate a possible low, that would be appreciated.

Woke up at 8:00 to a 198. Correction bolus.

Woke up at 11:00 to an 86. Off to make a quick (ha!) post, and now... breakfast!

Untethered

2007-04-10T21:11:00.001-07:00

Me and my pump
Originally uploaded by amblass.

Ms. Amy caused a minor debate in the O.C. a few weeks ago when she joined the community forever subjected to the incessant "Is that an iPod?" question.

The debate was circled around the pros and cons of being "tethered" to an insulin pump. Those using the traditional pumps liked the tubing because it allowed them to disconnect occasionally, there was no PDA to remember, there's no lump under clothing and you don't have to throw out each one every time you change the site (which, I believe, has brought PWDs a kind of kinship with medical devices not seen in many other health circles).

On the flip side, you don't have to worry about clogged tubing, strange people gawking at your waistline, waking up with your insulin pump trying to choke you to death or having a 3-year-old try to yank out the tubing with her foot when you put her down (or perhaps that's just me...). You also don't have to worry about finding a place to hide it/stash it/clip it every time you get dressed.

My entire wardrobe is pump friendly. All my skirts and pants (except one) have pockets, and the one that doesn't have pockets has belt loops. I don't wear dresses.

It's been at least seven years since I wore my last dress, possibly longer, because I don't really think I look that great in dresses (that abdomen needs toning).

While I love the pump and everything they stand for, I am sick of being tethered to insulin pump.

I have decided to take a pump vacation and am now on the "Untethered Regime."

Those of you who frequent the CWD website may have seen the page written by Dr. Steven Edelman about the Untethered Regime. Essentially what it means is using a shot of Lantus to cover your basal and reconnecting at meals for the bolus. This allows people to use extended boluses and temp basals (but only if you're going up, not down) and you can disconnect for long periods of time without worrying about going high.

You also don't need to worry about clipping the insulin pump to your clothing.

This July, it will be seven years on the insulin pump. It's not that I don't like the insulin pump or think that what it does isn't useful, but after seven years, I just don't want it on me anymore. I don't want anything on me. I don't want tubing on me and I definitely don't want a piece of plastic mounted to my body 24/7. I am wearing a set like usual, that will have to stay unless I wanted to switch to injections - which I don't. Who would?

I have only been on the Untethered Regime for two days, so I'm still getting the hang of things. Gary initially put me on 26 units of Lantus, which worked overnight and in the evening, but I spiked at 372 mg/dl yesterday afternoon. Which I was completely expecting. On the pump, my basal rate overnight goes down to .75/hr, but reaches 1.3/hr in the afternoon. Quite the difference. I went up to 28 units for today and my highest I was 214 mg/dl. Not too bad. I think I might be able to fix that high with an increase in my bolus ratios.

I've been carrying the pump around in my meter case, so I'm not too worried about forgetting it or leaving it anywhere. It certainly is an odd sensation to suddenly not have an insulin pump essentially fixed to your hip. I reflexively reach down to catch my pump when I get out of bed in the morning and I keep trying to look at my pocket to see what time it is. Now I need to get used to using my cell phone to find the time.

I find it a bit ironic that I'm leaving for California tomorrow to attend a CWD regional conference on pumping. Though I will add that Dr. Edelman is going to be speaking at a session on the untethered regime and other pumping strategies, so I'm looking forward to seeing if he has any tips to help me get the most out of this experience.

I haven't decided how long this little experiment will last. Probably until I get sick of being untethered! Either way, I will keep all of you posted.

(P.S. Apparently I failed to mention that I got a pump skin awhile back. They are jellybeans.

Don't worry, that irony has not been lost on me either.)

Return of the Five Question Meme!

2007-04-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

I wanted to finish all the questions I had received before making another meme post, but Kerri's limerick request really had me stumped.

George

1. If you had to star in a TV show about your life, what would you call it?

As uncreative as this sounds, I would probably call it Lemonade Life because it's the one phrase that I think really represents the way I want to live my life and so to have a TV show about my life called this makes the most sense.

2. Which super hero power would you want to have and why?

Well, considering Heroes is my favorite TV show, this is a hard question because I keep seeing new powers that I want! I think the power of turning into someone else was pretty cool. You could find out so much if you could pretend to be another person.

3. What is your favorite planet besides earth?

Risa. You didn't say it had to be a real planet. Bonus points to those who get the eference.

4. What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment?

Whenever I receive an email from a parent or a teen with diabetes who is struggling and burnt-out, and they tell me that what I’m doing has inspired them to take better care of themselves, that’s when I know I’m getting it right. That’s when I know that everything I have done has meant something to at least one other person, and for me, that’s my greatest accomplishment.

5. If you had to listen to one Band/Singer for the rest of your life, who would it be?

Moby. He has the most diversity in style in his music, so I don't think I would get bored very easily listening to his music.

Vivian

1. If you could no longer blog (gasp!) what would you replace it with?

Podcasting.

2. Name three must haves in your soul mate.

Love of God, honesty, and curiousity of life.

3. Is there one quote or piece of advice that has affected the way you live your life?

When I was in high school, my dad told me the phrase "'Tis better to light one small candle than to forever curse the darkness." It motivates me to do whatever I can to help a situation, even if I know it won't solve a problem, I like to know that at least I'm a part of the solution, and not the problem.

4. If you could design the path of your life over the next ten years, what would it look like?

First, I don't think I would want to because I'm human and fallible and I would probably come up with a pretty stupid life plan compared to what God would come up with.

That being said, if I had to, I would like to see myself moving to New York and getting settled, working at an agency and being as involved in JDRF and DRI as I could and eventually work my way onto the International Board of Directors (which I have wanted to do since I was 17-years-old - a full year before you are even allowed on the Board). I would love to meet my husband and get married in the next 10 years, probably towards the latter half, maybe have my first kid around 30. I also want to travel to Israel and New Zealand. Eventually, I want to move outside of the city or even to another state altogether to raise my family. I'm not sure what kind of career I want to have when I'm 30. I don't know if I want to work in the diabetes industry the whole time - I have already been doing this since I was 16 years old, so it will be 15 years by the time I'm 31 years old. That's a long time.

Maybe I will write a book. Or become a photographer.

5. What are 2 things you love about yourself and what are two things you would like to add to that list?

I love my persistence (though I'm not sure the same could be same for other people) and I love my eyes. I get a lot of compliments on them and they are my favorite physical feature.

I would like to add a better sense of direction and the ability to speak in a group setting without feeling like I'm interrupting even when I'm a part of the conversation. I tend to become a mute if I'm with more than three people at a time (I don't know if anyone noticed that at the OC dinner). I'm not a shy person, so it annoys me that I do that.

Kerri.

1. You find that you are being stalked by a small cat who is taking copious notes on your life. What do they find that you spend your day doing?

You mean besides being glued to a computer monitor? For the past three years, I spent most of my time in class, at Espresso Roma drinking coffee and chatting with my friends, or at home on the computer working on my various diabetes projects. Now that I'm a college graduate, pretty much anything is up for grabs.

2. Cell phones, email, IM, blogging, chatting over coffee... you only get to pick one method of communication. Which do you pick and why?

Chatting over coffee, no doubt about it. It might not be a very economical use of my time, but I think at the end of life I would feel like I really go to know people instead of just rushing past them. I also remember this time when someone I worked with online said to a mutual acquaintance, "You mean she's real?!" I'm sure it was as a joke, but I think that's why I am on a mission to meet people from the Internet. I am not words on a computer screen; I am a real person. And I know you are too.

3. Wild monkeys steal your car. What do they find in the backseat? And what, oh what, do you have hidden in the trunk?

A huge case of CDs that I just know are going to get stolen one of these days and empty pop cans. In the trunk, I have a bag of clothes that need to be taken to Buffalo Exchange, some books scattered about and a jumper cable.

Oh, and that dead body I've been meaning to bury.

4. You go to pay for gas at the gas station, only to realize you have forgotten your wallet at home. They ask that you pay in the form of a limerick - what limerick do you compose for the gas station attendant?

There once was a girl from the Linn,
Who said, "Let's go for a spin!"
Until they bumped into a tree
And they all went "Wheeee!"
and she landed upside down with a grin.

Morbid I know, but I wanted to do a car-theme and I couldn't come up with very many rhymes. I never did rhyming poetry, so I think I rather suck at it.

5. The ol' hot air balloon bit: What do you want to fly over?

Israel. My cousin has a book of photographs of Israel that I looked at when I was in New Jersey last weekend and it just made me want to go there even more.

The Tour Wrap-Up

2007-04-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

I am terrible when it comes to taking pictures. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I don't notice interesting things to take pictures of. Maybe I'm too lazy to take the camera out of my purse. Whatever it is, I rarely have a recollection of vacations and I'm certainly not in most of them.

This, however, is not one of those times.

I have two photo blogs that I put together to show everyone my trip.

The first is an abridged, 15-photo Flickr set that just has the main part of the trip summary, with accompanying photographs.

The second is an extended, 55-photo Flickr set that has the same photos as the first set but with an additional 30 photos with extra commentary. I tried to make this set make sense considering I was inserting new photographs so hopefully it works!

As for the group shots of the OC dinner and the Museum visit, those are not posted because of privacy reasons. Scott Strumello and Art-Sweet have them in their Flickr galleries, so you will have to friend one of them. I don't know if the Museum group shot is posted anywhere. The Museum group however is Kate, Julia, Olivia, and myself (all of whom are in the OC dinner pictures if you can get to them) plus Val and Wendy and those two have a photo posted on the extended photoblog so you can see them.

A lot of people have asked me how my interviews went, and while they went well, nothing is guarenteed so I'm not going to divulge too much. I will post more as soon as I have a start date.

A Meme to Tide You Over

2007-04-04T07:51:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Julia:

1. What does blogging do for you?

One of the reasons I started blogging was that I could talk about my life with diabetes without worrying about representing a certain organization. I've volunteered for JDRF, worked for Diabetes Portal, Inc. (RIP), and dLife, and I didn't want to get bogged down with "Hm, I wonder if they'll want me to edit this" or "I wonder if this fits the audience." My audience on this blog is anyone who wants to hear me chatter about living with diabetes and the highs and lows (literal and figurative) in my life. I love hearing from people because it gives me a sense of security to know that I'm not insane (at least, not yet). I like the fact that blogging, unlike pretty much everything else I do, is completely controlled by what I decide to do, and not by what someone else thinks. I like the independence of blogging, but I also like the community. Best of both worlds.

2. Do you have any tattoos? If so, what of and what do they represent? If not, would you?

I don't have any tattoos... yet. Right now, the ones I want to get is "faith" in Ancient Hebrew and "grace" in Ancient Greek. Those are the words that I think best represent the Torah and the New Testament. I have "grace" translated, but not "faith" so that's why I don't have it yet.

3. What's your idea of the ultimate day of decadence? Where would you go, what would you do and with whom would you do it? Money is no object.

I would go shopping and sight-seeing in Paris... and I have no idea who I would go with. Probably three of my friends from high school because none of them have been to Paris and I have and it would be cool to show them around.

4. What's your number one pet peeve??

People who are closed-minded about the possibility that there could be Christians who aren't closed-minded. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard people rant against Christians for being hateful, closed-minded, homophobic, delusional... etc. Yes, thank you for shoving me into yet another box. I just find it ironic that the people who are accusing a group of people for being mean and hateful are just as mean and hateful.

5. Again, money is no object - what kind of car would you buy?

Black Mercedes-Benz. That was easy.

Rules of the Game: Post a comment with your email address and I'll send you five questions. I'm limiting this to the first five people to comment, however, so hurry while supplies last!

The Rundown

2007-04-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the lobby of the Club Quarters hotel in Philadelphia for the shuttle to the airport.

For all intents and purposes, my vacation is over, even though I won't land in Portland until 10:30 PST tonight (it's 2:30 EST). I figured now would be a good time to post a brief rundown of the trip because I will most likely be too exhausted to do much tonight, and I have an endo appointment bright and early tomorrow morning.

The past 12 days have included:

sandwich delivery, dinner plates with painted vaginas, steamed dumplings with Bettercell in Chinatown, thai food and sushi in Soho with Julia and Olivia, the New York Public Library, hunting for Kate in Hearld Square, shopping in Soho, dinner on 42nd with Julia, Olivia, Kate, Scott and Art-Sweet, lots of laughing and ranting, Museum of Natural History with Julia, Olivia, Kate, Wendy, Val and Val's family, a metorite from Oregon, new Sketchers from Times Square, train ride through Connecticut, Kerri's engagement ring, Italian food in Westport, Yale, lunch in the Financial District, four hours at JDRF, walking thirty blocks down Broadway...and then walking back, coffee with the editorial ladies of Diabetes Self-Management, interviews, wardrobe changes, evil high heels of death, NYC subway, NJ transit and SEPTA trains, falling in love with my iPod all over again, late night television, expensive shoes and H & M, walking around tipsy in Manayunk, Rita's water ice and Saturday morning cartoons, challah and matzoh crackers and lox and bagels (my entire East Coast family is Jewish - it was inevitable), an Indian grocery store and a mango lassi, more Italian food, children's Passover books and prayers in Hebrew, Philadelphia row houses and Independence Hall, meandering around South Street, feeling loved and lonely all at the same time.

Wondering if next year, I will be here with my family for the seder instead of in an airplane 35,000 feet above Colorado.

Thank you to everyone who came to see me. You have no idea how much I appreciate the time, money and energy that you all put in to make this trip so incredibly memorable.

The past 12 days have been the best graduation present a girl could have.

We Interrupt This Vacation To Bring You This Exciting Allison Moment....

2007-03-26T19:33:00.000-07:00

I got my grades back!!

I passed Biology of Cancer!!

With a fcuking B!!!!!!

A BEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And 3 A- in my other classes (International Journalism, Dark Self, and Communication Economics).

My overall GPA is 3.03. A 3! I got to a 3!!!

I AM OFFICIALLY GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Now.... A Girl With No Luck!

2007-03-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

(said in exagerated Monty Python and the Flying Circus style)

Okay, I want to write a wonderfully long and detailed story of my ridiculous day, but alas, it is 10:00 and I have to get up at a quarter to six tomorrow so I can fly to NEW YORK FUCKING CITY!

Ahem.

Sufficed to say (or is it "suffice it to say"...I never know which), NO ONE in my area sells medical id bracelets. One pharmacy had some, but they didn't have my disease. Ha. I wish I didn't have my disease either. Well, they had it as a necklace, but not a bracelet. So I took off the necklace pendant and strung it together with some beads and made it a bracelet with a massive pendent. It's odd-looking, but functional. I swear, I think the gods of medical id bracelets were punishing me for being a hypocrite and looking like I wear a medical id bracelet when in reality, I don't.

Anyway, almost everything on my list has been finished. Except for the downloading music onto my iPod because I think my iPod broke. It freezes randomly and I haven't figured out why. It sucks. Maybe the Apple store in NYC can fix it.

Well, I have finished printing out my boarding pass. Au revoir until April!

48 Hours

2007-03-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

Here's my pre-trip to-do list.

~~Study for Biology of Cancer.~~
~~Take my Biology of Cancer final (my LAST one!)~~ Edit: If I don't graduate from college, it's because this final SUCKED ASS..
~~Do four loads of laundry.~~
~~Buy travel sized amounts of shampoo, shaving cream and face wash.~~
~~Buy more test strips - because I'm down to a bottle and a half.~~
Put together my portfolio.
Restring my medic alert bracelet (I know, I'm a horrible diabetic and role model for never wearing it). Edit: Okay, so now I have to go buy a new one because I left my broken ID bracelet on my desk in Eugene, and I'm currently in Portland. Dammit! I don't like ID bracelets to begin with and now I have to go buy another one??
Buy a pair of boots - because I hate heels and since it's snowing in New York City, I'm pretty sure sandals are out. Edit: I'm starting to lean towards ballet flats...
Email/call people to confirm I'm meeting them in either New York or Philly (if you were planning on emailing or calling me to hang out, I may be able to fit you in for a breakfast, but that's it. I am completely booked - however, OCapalooza is still open to the diabetes public). Edit: As of Tuesday night, everyone has been emailed, but NOT everyone has written back. Seriously, check your email to see if I wrote. Because I probably did.
~~Sell back my textbooks so I will have more cash for the trip.~~ Edit: I bought $250 worth of books and guess how much I got back... $34. Buggers.
~~Do the dishes.~~
Download more songs onto my iPod.
~~Clean my perpetually messy apartment.~~ Edit: Well... for the most part.
~~Clean my perpetually messy car.~~ Edit: It will never be clean. I should stop deluding myself.
Dye my hair.
~~Take the bottles and cans to the recycling.~~
~~Pack.~~Edit: Yes, my entire life is in my suitcase. And it weighs more than I do.
~~Drive to Portland.~~

And not necessarily in that order. That's just what needs to get done.

Really, thank goodness it's Friday!

2007-03-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Sean, I now have two job interviews at PR agencies in New York that I am very VERY happy about. I'm not as afraid to graduate now. And, yes, this is the real reason I am coming to New York City. I'm not sure if I actually ever said that on here, but I am job-hunting because I want to move to New York.

I have discovered the joy of buying my favorite songs on iTunes. So far: "All Around Me" by Flyleaf and "Faster Kill Pussycat" by Paul Oakenfold featuring Brittany Murphy (yes, that Brittany Murphy). This is going to get me into a lot of trouble.

I need to buy clothes this weekend. And a bigger purse. However, I am trying to limit myself to just one suitcase for the trip East, which I believe means I am certifiably insane. But get this: I am gone for 12 days, I am staying in 7 different locations covering three states. Technically I'm going to four, but I am not spending the night in Connecticut. Just there for the day. I do not want to drag a ton of luggage around tri-state area. One suitcase means less chances I will leave a bag somewhere or fall down a flight of stairs or miss a train. But yeah, I'm crazy. And the fact I'm going to four states in 12 days is still warping my little West Coast mind a bit.

But back to clothes. How does anyone expect a 21-year-old to know how to dress anymore? I'm torn between wearing clothes that I think are cute and risk wearing something that's too young for me, or buying clothes that I know are more "grown-up" and "safe for the workplace" but that age me about ten years. The clothes that I do like (namely, Anne Taylor and ladies section at Nordstroms) are about twice the price I can afford. The cheap clothes fall under the aforementioned "what are you wearing?" categories. I'm 21 and I don't know how to dress myself.

I am going to see this man at Powell's bookstore tomorrow. I am so excited. I love the Post Secret website. I'm addicted. I go every week. Sometimes multiples times a week to read the responses that are posted. I have never sent anything in, if you are wondering. But I want to. Post Secret and Powell's. Together. Amazing.

Less than a week until I am in New York. One more class to go. One take-home final to finish (erm, and to start). Two in-class finals. I really hope I pass my classes. It would be traumatizing to not graduate at this point.

P.S.

2007-03-12T09:33:00.001-07:00

This is my last week of college.

I feel like I should be happy or excited.

But I'm not.

That is all.

Switches

2007-03-11T23:25:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday night, I ran out of test strips.

I mean, completely out. None for the regular meter, none for the back-up Ultra. Not even expired "this number is at least 30 points off" test strips.

Since it was 11 o'clock at night, my only choice was to wait patiently until the next morning to drive to the pharmacy to pick some more up.

The next morning I drove down to Albertson's before class. I went to the counter and explained to the pharmacy technician that I need to order test strips because I didn't have any. I also explained that they would have to call the pharmacy in the Quaint Little Portland Suburb That Remains Unnamed, because I accidentally transfered the prescription up there the previous weekend. The technician informs me that it will be at least half an hour before they will be able to call the pharmacy. I decide to station myself at the magazine rack while I wait.

About half an hour later, I get a phone call from the pharmacist.

"The pharmacy in Quaint Little Suburb doesn't have a record of your BD meter prescripton," she informs me.

Wha?? How do you lose a prescription? It's not like these things just get up and walk out of the pharmacy.

"But they have the new prescription for the Ultra from your endocrinologist." (I had finally decided a couple weeks ago to toss the BD once and for all and move to a more reputable brand - Lifescan).

Now, one would think this would solve all my problems and the world would be all sunshine and roses again.

Ha. Lest you forget the subject we're talking about: diabetes.

You see, my insurance company has once again changed the category that my test strips fall under. First, they were normal durable supplies that I could order from Medtronic Minimed during my tri-monthly supply run. I got everything from one place, at one time, every three months, with the insulin bottles the first week of every month. It was the next best thing to a dream come true (okay, it was about five spots below the next best thing, but you get the idea).

Then they switched it to a pharmacy supply. Test strips and insulin were bought the first week of the month, and the pump supplies every three months. Still relatively convenient in the grand scheme of ways diabetes can fuck things up.

Now they have switched it again to the peudo-technical category of "major medical durable supplies." Whatever the hell that means. It wouldn't that much of a crisis if it wasn't for the fact that pharmacies can't code for "major medical durable supplies."

The pharmacist goes on to explain that my doctor has prescribed 400 test strips, and that if I buy them, I will have to buy them at full price.

"I can put together a box of 100 test strips if you want," the pharmacist says, "Just so you can have some and then you can bill your insurance company." She tells me I would have to talk to my insurance company to find out where to get my test strips in the future.

After I get off the phone, I call my dad.

"Hey kid," he says as he picks up.

"Have I mentioned lately how much I hate diabetes?" I reply. I have an hour and a half until I am supposed to meet with some classmates, and I still haven't tested, taken a shower or had lunch. "Everytime I turn around diabetes is there to fuck things up."

After I explain to my dad what had happened with the change in insurance, he gives me our insurance information and tells me to go ahead and buy the test strips (well, obviously, what was he going to say? No, I think you should wait?).

An hour and a half after I arrived at Albertson's, I finally left with my 100 Lifescan Ultra test strips and drove home to discover a 258 mg/dl. After two months of averaging 202 mg/dl, this wasn't exactly a surprising number. But luckily, my numbers have been taking a nice downward turn towards "the middle." Well, for the most part that is. I have still hit the 200s a few times since Wednesday, but I have also gone low nine times in the past 5 days.

Nine times.

This includes an hour long low blood sugar episode last night. Woke up at 2:15 a.m. shaky and flushed (a new symptom! I have never had this symptom when low, but now I do! I am a part of the Hot n' Sweaty Hypoglycemic Club! Woohoo!). After testing (68 mg/dl) and grabbing an apple Juicy Juice from the fridge, I waited for the low to disappear. I had a hard time falling back asleep, so I decided to change the time on my pump and fiddled around with my cell phone trying to figure out how to change the time. It finally switched on its own. This is the first time I have ever changed the time on my clock at 2 o'clock in the morning, the "official" time-switching time. Then I realized the reason I wasn't falling back asleep was because I was 70 mg/dl. Oh joy.

While I'm secretly a little pleased that all the lows are lowering my A1C little by little, hypoglycemia is such a frustrating and painful experience for me that it's really something I try to avoid as much as possible. So we'll making more switches. That's all diabetes is sometimes... just switches... Switches in insurance, switches in meters, switches in injection sites, switches in injection methods (pump v. shots), switches in basal rates and bolus ratios.

Soon, I'm making an even bigger switch in my diabetes regime...

It's Like It Knows Me...

2007-03-09T12:36:00.000-08:00

My friend did this on her Livejournal, so I already knew what her picture meant and decided that it didn't really fit me. There were a lot of beautiful images to pick from, and in fact, after clicking on a few more, several of them fit me kind of accurately... like horoscope accuracy...

But man. It's like it can see inside my soul...

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are compassionate, caring, and soothing.
You like other people to depend on you...
In fact, you don't feel right unless you are helping someone out.

Underneath it all, you feel the burden of everyone's problems.
Without your guidance, you fear that many people's worlds would fall apart.
You like to feel in charge, even if it brings you a lot of stress.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Creepy, no?

Break the Silence: A Unite for Diabetes Video

2007-03-06T17:19:00.000-08:00

This is a powerful and well-done mini-documentary on diabetes produced in South Africa during the International Diabetes Federation's triannual conference. The advocates featured in the video are some of the 25 Youth Ambassadors from around the world. They share their thoughts and struggles with diabetes.

So There's This Lady In Portland...

2007-03-05T22:43:00.000-08:00

And this lady's name is Lori.

Lori and I have been chatting on Gmail for a few weeks now and when I told her I was going up to Portland (for a second weekend in a row - gah) for a friend's birthday, we agreed that it was about time we finally meet. Seeing as how I had lived in Portland for six months last year and we never got around to having dinner, I personally felt a little silly having waited to so long. March is the month for meeting people (what with OCapalooza coming in three weeks, and a visit to San Diego will yield a dinner with George, and hopefully Kelsey, mid-April), so it seemed like perfect timing.

We made plans to hit up my favorite restaurant in all of Portland, Rock Bottom, at 5 o'clock on Saturday. The rendez-vous started off slightly after 5 (after going on a mad search to find a Walgreen or Rite Aid so I could buy AAA batteries for my pump) in a restaurant that was surprisingly crowded considering it was so early.

Lori and her husband, Dr. Parts (that's not his real name, FYI), and I had way too much food for 3 diabetics, including an appetizer (humongous "titan toothpicks" - chicken, Jack cheese and peppers wrapped in fried), entrees and splitting two desserts (chocolate raspberry brownie and apple cobbler - which we didn't finish, in our defense). I had my "usual" - strawberry marga-jito (it was the first drink I had at the restaurant when we went there for my birthday). My blood sugar spiked, and the alcohol probably stabilized my blood sugar at an even 260 for the entire night. Note to self: Be one with the square bolus and temp basal.

Conversation included: my impending graduation (no, I still don't know what I'm doing), the physiological differences between type 2 and type 1 diabetes, the differences in attitudes towards health in people with type 1 and type 2 diabetes, reasons why Cheating Destiny is the most awesomest book ever, type 2 diabetics going on insulin and testing more often, why Eugene is boring, and Lori wanting to adopt George (you can't make this stuff up).

And here we are, two diabetics hyped up on more sugar than the body can handle:

That Bridge Looks Mighty Fine...

2007-03-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

THE SEVEN THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE (in no particular order)
1. Write a book. Just like the rest of the world.
2. Move to New Zealand to live with the Hobbits.
3. Be the last president of JDRF. (This one might be a long shot).
4. Have sex. (I'm a 21 year old virgin - it's high on my to-do list).
5. Get married.
6. Visit Israel, Edit: And the Anne Frank House! Thanks to Sasha for reminding me about it!
7. Adopt a child.

SEVEN THINGS I CANNOT DO
1. Remember more than small snippets of sound.
2. Be on time.
3. Remember to bolus before a meal.
4. Anything with math. I praise the Bolus Wizard Gods on a daily basis.
5. Understand how people cannot believe in a God. You don't have to be a Christian, but atheism just doesn't make sense to me.
6. Keep electronics from breaking.
7. Go an extended period of time away from the Internet. Hello, my name is Allison and I'm addicted to email.

SEVEN THINGS THAT I FIND ATTRACTIVE IN PEOPLE IN GENERAL
1. Intelligence.
2. Honesty.
3. Curiosity.
4. An interest in culture.
5. Tolerance.
6. Loyalty.
7. Kindness.

SEVEN THINGS I SAY
1. "Fuck." Which is funny considering how much I used to hate that word.
2. "No, it's an insulin pump."
3. "I'm majoring in journalism... No, my emphasis is public relations.. No, it's like... It's hard to explain."
4. "Stop lying. Lying's a sin!"
5. "Hey babe."
6. "You're weird." (And variations thereof: psycho, crazy, bizarre).
7. "I need coffee."

SEVEN BOOKS THAT I LOVE
1. Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl.
2. Life of Pi.
3. Blue Like Jazz.
4. Reading Lolita in Tehran.
5. Man's Search for Meaning.
6. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.
7. Cheating Destiny (in bold, underlined, exclamation marks!)

SEVEN MOVIES THAT I LOVE
1. V for Vendetta.
2. Ghost World.
3. Garden State.
4. Lost in Translation.
5. Little Miss Sunshine.
6. Almost Famous.
7. Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

SEVEN PEOPLE TO TAG
I tag the seven people who haven't jumped off the bridge yet.

It's March?!

2007-03-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

It's March 1.

Which means I have exactly 14 schooldays left before I graduate.

And I still don't have a job.

This past week has been on the Insanity side of things. On Friday I drove up to my parent's house near Portland because I was volunteering at the Children's Diabetes Seminar (think of it as a really small CWD) and Dr. Bruce Buckingham had been flown in for the 4th Annual James Hansen Memorial Research Seminar. Which is, at is always is, Research 101 for the uninitiated.

But I met him. Me! The girl who only interacts with people via a computer terminal! Okay, that's not entirely true, but I do have a penchance for standing around for twenty minutes, mulling over my opening line, before casually tip-toeing over to a person and squeaking out a "Hi...I'm Allison...we kind of know each other already but..."

Unless I'm hyped up on five cups of coffee. Then you can't get me to shut up without a roll of duck tape and some rope.

Nothing new or unusual to report. I go to a lot of these seminars, and I swear, I think Amy has done a better job of bringing me up to speed on research and technology than any doctor's seminar. Sometimes I think I go just so I can say I've gone. And to give parents my words of wisdom. Which, surprise surprise, happens a lot.

Monday, I had a Biology of Cancer midterm. Which I didn't study for. Go me.

On Tuesday, I had a 3 page paper due. Which I wrote Monday night. Go me.

On Wednesday, I had a 5 paper paper due. Which I started Tuesday night, finished on Wednesday, and ended up being 6 pages long. Go me.

Up next: 5 page group project in International Journalism, plus my final papers and exams.

14 more days... 14 more days. Holy crap.

Then seven days in New York, four days in Philadelphia (with a quick little jaunt up to New Jersey to see extended family). Then a week in Portland. Then a week in California.

Before I said my life ends on April 18.

But Lori has promised to take me out and get me drunk on April 19.

So now I have plans for April 19.

Go me.

Coming Soon: When Diabetics Meet and Drink.

How Well Do You Really Know Us?

2007-02-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

I stole this from Facebook. Instead of writing down the last 21 people to write on your Facebook wall, write down the last 21 people to leave a comment on your blog. If you don't know who the person is, make something up! (No repeat names!)

1. Hannah
2. Julia
3. George
4. Vivian
5. Scott Johnson
6. Scott Strumello
7. Vicki
8. Lori
9. Allison
10. Bernard
11. Kelsey
12. Kassie
13. Kath
14. Deborah
15. Penny
16. Sasha
17. Cassandra
18. Dawn
19. Sara
20. Wendy
21. Kate

*How did you meet 21?
Through the O.C. Probably sent me a submission form. It's basically how I meet everybody these days.

*What would you have done if you had never met 6?
Been a happier person. No, I'm kidding! If I had never met Scott I... probably would have reserved to stay at a hotel 8 miles from the nearest subway station.

*What would you do if 20 and 15 dated?
Uh, freak out. Because the wonderful world that is Penny and Michael would be over.

*Have you ever seen 4 cry?
No.

*Would 1 and 6 make a good couple?
I doubt it. Mostly because Hannah's already married.

*Would number 14 and 16 make a good couple?
I don't think a transnational relationship is what either of them are looking for right now.

*Describe 8:
The best type 2 diabetic Portland scarf-knitter I know.

*Do you like 17?
Of course, she's an Oregonian! And she invited me to Tokyo. I haven't decided if I'm going yet. I have so many international friends it's hard on my bank account.

*Do you think 18 is attractive?
I don't know what she looks like... but I'm sure she is so I'll say yes.

*Tell me something about 11:
She is funny, smart and is going to be a great mom! And I swear her husband has been in a movie or a TV show or magazine or something...

*What's 7's favorite color?
No idea. Blue? I'm guessing. Her pump was blue. Oh dear. I'm basing someone's favorite color off of their pump.

*What would you do if 12 just confessed they liked you?
Well, after I finish laughing hysterically, I would begin a torrid lesbian love affair.

*When was the last time you talked to number 9?
She's only left comments, I haven't actually talked to her. Last comment was on February 14.

*What language does 10 speak?
English. Does having an Irish accent count as speaking another language? I'm sure he speaks others. Europeans are so much smarter than us.

*Who is 2 going out with?
Her husband...

*What year is 16 in?
She's out of school.

*What is 5's favorite music?
I really should know this. But I don't. I'm going with something upbeat, maybe rock. Wow. How vague can you get?

*Would you ever date 21?
I don't think her boyfriend would like that very much.

*Would you ever date 3?
I don't think I'm ready for kids right now.

*Where does 18 live?
Massachusetts.

*What is the best thing about 14?
She leaves nice thoughtful comments.

*What would you like to tell 13 right now?
Edit: I would like to tell Kathleen that I'm terribly sorry that I didn't realize it was her when she commented on my blog! I am a horrible person...

*How did you meet 1?
Through the O.C. Like everyone else on this list...

*What is the best thing about 12?
She's a great mom and a great writer and she's on my Top 10 List of O.C. People to Meet.

Another Call for OCapalooza!

2007-02-22T17:32:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to make an updated post about our upcoming OC get-together the last weekend in March.

Several of us will be gathering for dinner (someplace Italian, but location TBD) on Saturday, March 24. We will then meet up on Sunday, March 25 around noon at the Museum of Natural History, and, depending on the weather, we'll also visit Central Park.

If you are in the area and you would like to come to either or both of the activities, please let me know. You can join the Sunday activities at any point, but if you want to come to the dinner, please let me know by March 2.

Any questions, let me know!

If you can't come to the weekend events, but you still want to meet me, please e-mail me ASAP.

A Letter From Mr. Pancreas

2007-02-18T18:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Allison,

My friends and I have been getting quite a bit of bashing lately and I think it’s time to set the record straight.

Okay, I know I haven’t been the greatest pancreas in the entire world, but come on, it’s not exactly my fault! You think I like being crippled? All the other organs make fun of me! Mr. Liver laughs because he can make your blood sugar go up, but try as I might, I just can’t get it to come down. Really, I think you should have a talking to with Mr. Liver. And the Eye Brothers and the Kidney Twins, well, they just harass me all day long because I’m too weak to fend off the Glucose Gang. It’s humiliating! You think I wanted to be defective? It’s not like I woke up one morning and said, “Gee, I think a life of uselessness is right up my alley.”

Nuh uh, sister.

Oh, I know, you think it’s just another lame excuse about a virus brainwashing your army of T-cells (notice the “your” in the sentence). I took Biochemistry when you were in utero. I know organs don’t just die! Psychotic T-cells… They think they’re so cool with their full body armor and ray guns, showing those viruses who’s boss. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not a virus!

I’m sorry it happened. Really, I am. If there was some way I could regenerate, I would. But no, I’m stuck here, in the dark, squished between Ms. Stomach and the Intestine Groupies. Unbelievably bored. If I had eyes, there would be tears. You can only watch the Facts of Life so many times before you start whining to the TV Mrs. Garrett about how mean Mr. Liver is.

I’m sitting here, twiddling my theoretical thumbs, impatiently waiting for some doctor dude to figure out how to unbreak me. And what on God’s green earth is taking so damn long? This is not brain surgery!

My friends and I are sorry that you and your friends have to have to pick up so much of the slack and wheel us around. Trust me, we’re as impatient as you. I know there isn’t a clock in here but I’m fairly certain it’s been five years. Possibly longer…

Maybe I should buy a watch.

Yours whether you like it or not,
Mr. Pancreas

Lori Rode is the Greatest Person Ever

2007-02-15T22:52:00.000-08:00

Look what I got for Valentine's Day!

Socks, gum, sugar-free mentos, earrings, a notepad (the white words circling the flower says, "We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough" - Helen Keller), Now & Later candies (um, I actually had a few more than that when the package arrived...), dark chocolate! (which everyone should know has the least amount of sugar out of all chocolate), white sunglasses that make me look like a bug (but most sunglasses do that), and a handmade scarf that Lori made!

Who needs a boyfriend?

Anxiety and Other Character-Building Emotions

2007-02-13T00:33:00.000-08:00

I have five more weeks of school.

I went home this weekend (home being my parent's house) and I realized that I have approximately eight more weeks of knowing exactly where I will be and when and with whom, and then my calendar stops.

I'm edging closer to a precipice of time.

For the next five weeks, I will be here, in my studio apartment in a large, college town in the middle of freaking nowhere. A few weekend trips to Portland to see family, celebrate a friend's birthday, and attend a lecture by Dr. Bruce Buckingham.

I will then fly across the country for 11 days to see more family and friends, and hopefully find my future, instead of guessing where it might be.

I will spend another week in Eugene, milling around, trying to make a purpose out of an interim. Then I will fly to Los Angeles on April 11 to see more friends, followed by a drive down to see La Jolla to see even more friends and family. Then I will fly back to Portland on April 18.

And then...

I don't know.

I don't know what comes after April 18.

It's like Judgement Day, circled in red.

I know that, unlike many college students, I have options. I have good options. I have good options that I have worked very hard to have. But having options isn't the same as having a plan. Having a plan means I know where I am going to be, when and with whom.

I have never had a time where I didn't know where I was going. In high school, the University of Oregon was the option, and the plan, because it was a given that I could get into this state school. I have always been able to arrange with my parents where I was going to live and for how long. But I can't do any of that right now.

I have to wait.

Everyone keeps asking questions or mentioning plans and all I can say is, "I hope."

I don't want to hope. I want to know.

It's disconcerting to have your entire future in the hands of so many other people. I really don't like it. I feel powerless. I feel like I'm at the disposal of all these people.

I am edging towards a precipice of time and I don't know who is going to catch me.

I am edging towards a precipice of time and I'm feeling anxious, worried, exhilarated, tired.

I am edging towards a precipice of time and I'm scared.

So Close

2007-02-08T00:20:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to figure out how to be clever and witty, but it's 12:20 in the morning so I'm just going to talk instead of write.

My blood sugars haven't been that great the past few weeks. In fact, they've been pretty shitty.

My 14-day averages look like this:

Wake-up: 158

Lunch: 240

Dinner: 211

Nighttime: 216.

Not exactly the stuff of an OC New Me Challenge winner.

I finally got it into my head that perhaps my "rinse and repeat" method of testing, correcting, testing, correcting was probably not my best effort to get my blood sugars into a respectable range. I wasn't even trying. I was just reacting.

I felt like a ping-pong ball. Bo-ING!

I raised my basal rate in the late afternoon and evening, hoping that it would kick those averages down. I also thought that by not underbolusing before exercising it would prevent my post-gym adrenaline spikes (which are categorically evil).

Moderate success. A morning of highs, a drop to 53, and a bounce up to 236. Managed a 98 at half-time, and a 121 post-game. Then I started crawling back up.... 162...233... Well, that went swimmingly. At least I avoided my usual 300 bounces.

My meter's battery crapped out on me at bedtime (though my last test was just two hours before I went to sleep), so I didn't test again until 9:45 this morning. 266. Well that's to be expected, I didn't know what I was when I went to sleep. It took a couple hours to climb down, but then I hit a winning streak:

153
107
126
175
164

I felt like I had never had so many 100s consecutively. I felt like I had figured it out. I was planning on going to the gym tonight, but decided it would be a better use of my time to actually study for my two midterms tomorrow (which I will most likely not be awake for if I don't finish this blog post...). Even though I had probably fudged my carbs for dinner a bit, I knew I wasn't that far off from the real number. At 7:30, my one hour post-dinner reading was 171 mg/dl, and I still had a lot of insulin on board. I thought it would come down by the time I next tested.

I even sent Gary an gloating email saying how I had "figured it all out" and how "changing basals" and "test frequently" were obviously the answer and that everything was all better.

At 9:45, I was 221. I need to keep my mouth shut and not jinx myself. Correction bolus, please.

11:00. 231. Sigh. Okay. I mean, seriously. I even took more insulin. Wouldn't that have been enough to cover whatever carbs I left out and bring me down? Even just a little?

I feel like an idiot for thinking for even a minute I had this figured out. I should have known the minute I thought things were making sense that they really weren't making sense at all, and this was just some sort of cosmic joke on me.

When it comes to managing diabetes, sometimes I feel so small.

Sometimes I just want to ask my body, "What does it take to make you happy?"

What I Learned In School Today

2007-02-01T00:10:00.000-08:00

"Whenever there was an opportunity for it, one had to give them a why - an aim - for their lives, in order to strengthen them to bear the terrible how of their existence... What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us." (76-77)

"For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquesly human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement." (112)

- Frankl, Viktor. "Man's Search for Meaning." Boston: Beacon Press. (c) 1959

::Slaps Forehead::

2007-01-31T19:25:00.000-08:00

Note to self:

When putting new insulin into the insulin pump, remember to EXIT the prime screen before reconnecting.

Going three hours without insulin = NOT GOOD.

Not really one of my finer moments... though personally, I think the pump should have some kind of alarm for "Uh, are you paying attention to what screen you've been at for the last three hours!?"

But that's just me.

An Anonymous Experience

2007-01-28T21:06:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, there has been an anonymous lurker floating around my blog and Scott's blog for the past few days. As lurkers go, this has not be a pleasant experience for anyone, least of all me.

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has left comments supporting me, especially Penny who wrote an entire post on my behalf. I very much appreciate that so many people in the O.C. have my back. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Second, I want everyone to know that the anonymous lurker has been identified. I am not going to release the lurker's name, as I believe it will only serve to cause serious harm to this diabetes community and to damage the lurker's spirit more than it already has. In short, it's just mean.

I have identified and emailed the A.L. and the issues surrounding aforementioned outbursts have been addressed and an apology has been received. To any would-be anony-haters, most blogs on the O.C. have stat counters and we know who you are. Maybe not by name, but we can see where you live, what your IP address is and how often you are showing up. Most of us are not afraid to block you. Thankfully, there will be no more tirades from this particular lurker, though I know there are many people who read the blogs in the Diabetes O.C. and I also know that there will never be a day when we can make everyone happy with our choices.

I can't even do that with my parents and I certainly don't expect to do it with complete strangers.

In case anyone didn't notice, this is my blog. It really is all about me, and occasionally other people.

This is the place where I come to work out whatever issues are going on inside my head. Some of them are inspiring, some of them are entertaining, some of them are downright over dramatic.

This is the place where I come to talk about my experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. Diabetes, as it has with most everyone reading this, has caused a significant amount of mental, emotional and physical trauma over the years. This is not an easy lifestyle. I have decided to take on the life of an advocate and an educator, but this occasionally complicates things rather than makes them simpler. There are times when I know exactly why I am doing this and I enjoy every minute that I can help people. But there are also times when I am completely burned out, frustrated and dejected. These are the times that I don't know why I do anything.

Coming here and talking about it helps to remind me of why.

I don't want to stand up (actually, I'm sitting down) and act like I'm a superhero or a martyr. No one forced me to do this. While you may have your own thoughts of what I am, I know that I am not perfect and I cannot do everything, no matter what the expectations are.

No one in the Diabetes O.C. is, and that is precisely what makes the O.C. amazing.

We have flaws. We forget to test, we forget to bolus, we forget to refill our reservoirs until the screen blinks No Delivery in the middle of dinner (okay, maybe that one's just me). We eat popcorn late at night, we use regular sugar in our coffee, we eat cupcakes. We don't want a box tethered to our abdomen, we don't want to count carbohydrates, and we don't want to be sick. But most of all, we don't want to be alone. The image that was chosen for the O.C. logo is a bridge. It's a bridge because I believe that these blogs are building bridges from one side of the world to the other, to support and validate the sadness and success of people with diabetes.

Anyone who tells you that you don't deserve to be validated or that you are not worth listening to is wrong.

We may not always agree with what someone does or thinks or says, but whether you are an active member of the Diabetes O.C., a full-time lurker or a first-time guest, you deserve the right to be respected.

If we, as people affected by this disease, can't find compassion for what this life is like, then the foundation of hope is cracked.

Lucky

2007-01-27T11:26:00.000-08:00

"Thirteen years, huh? Well, this is the longest five years I've ever seen."

That's what my mother told me on Thursday when I reminded her that my thirteenth anniversary was in two days.

I don't remember that much about my life before being diagnosed. I have a few scattered memories here and there, but nothing that really makes a huge delineation between being a "child" and a "child with diabetes." All my memories could have very well happened with diabetes.

When I think about it like that, most of my memories could have essentially happened with or without diabetes. Of course, I wouldn't have gone to Washington D.C. for Children's Congress, or Orlando for the CWD Friends for Life, but I think all the things parents look forward to their children doing, I've done.

Went to prom, got a driver's license, graduated from high school, went to college, made friends, got A's (and some B's and C's for good measure).

I did all the things parents probably don't look forward to their children doing.

Drank alcohol, lied, got a speeding ticket, moved away from home, fought persistently for things that probably didn't matter all that much.

Hopefully, someday in the future, I'll have a job (with health insurance), get married, have a baby, travel the world.

Diabetes makes these things harder, but it doesn't stop me from doing any of them. I suppose that's why people always say "it could be worse." I don't like diabetes and I don't enjoy any of the mental and manual labor, but, as I'm learning in Biology of Cancer, there are diseases out there that could have stopped me a lot earlier in my life.

To me, thirteen years isn't a very long time. Not compared to how long I will have it if we don't find a cure. While new technology and research certainly helps us understand and manipulate the disease more effectively, I know the way I think about living with diabetes is vastly different than it was five years ago, and I'm sure it will be different yet again in another five years.

No matter how I feel about having diabetes, what I hope doesn't change is the fact that I am still collecting the memories I would have without diabetes. Memories of laughter, and love, and excitement. Even if it diabetes shapes them, that's alright. Because when the "five years" are over, I don't want it to look like I was waiting for it to end.

Life comes first, the cure comes second.

And we are very lucky that we can have it in that order.

On the Eve of Thirteen

2007-01-26T00:03:00.000-08:00

This time of year is like New Year's for me. A time of reflection on my past, on where I come from and how diabetes has shaped who I am, and a time of anticipation for my future, on where I am going and how diabetes will change me.

Most of the time I don't really think about how diabetes has shaped my personality. My daily existence with diabetes is tied up with finger pricks, infusion sets, carbohydrate counting and figuring out where to put my pump when I get dressed. I don't think about my anger, resentments and frustrations with diabetes, unless I'm struck by a blog post, or a presentation or a memory. I don't try to deny what it's done, it's just not something I typically talk about. My role, as I see it, is to talk about realistically adapting to the challenges of diabetes in order to grow up and be as healthy and happy as possible.

Of course, realistically adapting to diabetes is probably the hardest thing we have to do.

This makes it all the more troubling when I have to talk about it from a personal perspective.

I have control issues. I've known about it for a long time, but I didn't realize until my sophomore year in college what had actually happened.

During my sophomore year, I was depressed. I'm not sure if it was clinical depression or just a "I'm-a-teen-and-everything-sucks" phase. Whatever it was, my life was changing rapidly. Within six months, I had moved twice. My roommate moved out. I was trying to figure out which education path I wanted to take - stay with journalism or move into P.R. I had fallen in love and then had my heart broken by a boy who didn't even want to be friends. I spent weeks trying to integrate myself into a Christian youth group, which ended up threatening to shatter my faith. At the end of this six month period, I had my highest A1C ever, ringing in at 9.2.

On April 17, 2005, for the fourth time in just five months, I cut myself. With my lancet.

When I signed up for therapy the following day, I began the process of figuring out what had happened. In my mind, I wasn't really a cutter. Cutters, I thought, did it all the time. I had only done it six times since my junior year in high school. But I had started smoking as a way to also hurt myself, so I had some masochistic tendancies I needed to stop.

As I talked to my therapist, it became apparent that I had a habit of believing a lot of things were my fault. My roommate moving out was my fault. Not being able to make strong friendships was my fault. The boy breaking my heart was my fault.

I believed, mistakenly, that if I had said something, done something, tried something differently, that things would have worked out and I could have changed the situation.

But most of the time, I didn't even understand what the problem was. And that was the most frustrating fact of all.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 8, and all through childhood and now as an adult, I was instructed to examine my diabetes to find out what happened when things went wrong.

I'm high - did I forget to bolus?

I'm low - did I miscount the carbohydrates?

I'm normal - what did I do differently and how can I repeat it?

It was a constant stream "What did you do?" And I had to figure out what the answer was. Diabetes, in a perfect world, is completely controlled by the patient. I mean, blood sugar is essentially controlled by four things: food, insulin, exercise and stress (well, five if you count the weather). Who controls what you eat, how much insulin you take, and when you exercise? You do. Even if you don't really believe that we are in control of our diabetes, because of all the underlying factors that fuck things up, we've all been taught this.

It's either a horrible truth or an outrageous lie, and I have a feeling it's somewhere in the middle.

When I looked at my life, at age 19, and could see all these ups and downs my life was taking, I couldn't identify what the problem was. Nor could I do anything to bring it back to normal.

There are always ups and downs with life, and then there are times when things are fairly stable and normal. But the problem is, we usually don't have as much say in it as we would like. A normal, stable life happens about as often as a normal, stable blood sugar. People come and go, they say stupid and hurtful things, they are born one day and die another, and they can accomplish the most amazing, heroic and beautiful acts that anyone has even seen.

But the only thing that you can control is you. Everything else is fair game.

I think diabetes gave me a false expectation on my ability to control my life. When something bad happens, when my life goes "out of range," I immediately want to identify the problem and fix it. Now. Give me that syringe, I need to bring this back to normal.

But I can't do that. And on the eve of my thirteenth anniversary, I am still learning how much of my life really, truly is out of my control and how I need to learn to appreciate the spontaneity of it, instead of trying to control it like I try to control my diabetes.

Because, you know, Rock Stars are pretty spontaneous.

Skipping Class

2007-01-23T11:45:00.000-08:00

I skipped class this morning.

Don't give me that look.

This is week three and this is the first class I've missed! I think that's pretty darn good.

I woke up low this morning. I have no idea how low because I rarely test when I'm low. Trot over to the fridge, grab a juice box, trot back over to bed, and fall in. That's my routine when I wake up low.

I think this proves to Mr. Anonymous in the last post that I am not perfect, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, I was already late in getting ready for the morning, and I decided since we are allowed one freebie absence that today would be the day. Besides, I hadn't done the reading.

It's hard to feel motivated right now, though I certainly don't want my last term ever to end with a string of Cs.

Last term.

I still cannot wrap my head around that concept.

But here's something slightly easier to conceptualize: I really am coming to the East Coast in March!

I mentioned my impending East Coast Lemonade Life tour back in November but haven't said a peep about it. Mostly because I didn't know if my finals for this term were going to interfere (they're not, for the record, one final on Monday and one on Tuesday - sweet!).

Here are my logistics thus far:

Fly into LaGuardia on Thursday, March 22. Chill at airport hotel because no way in heck am I going any farther than that after 10 hours of traveling to a big city by myself.

Station myself in Norwalk, CT for the weekend. OCapalooza time, baby! Yes, that's right, another OC get-together will take place that weekend. People in the Northeast should have received an email from me (only three people have written back though... makes me nervous). If you want to meet me and other D-peeps, email!

I'll be in New York City from Monday until Thursday - again, if you're in the area, holler!

Then I'll be training it to Philly Thursday night and flying out from PHL on Monday, April 2. My time in Philly is already pretty booked, but if you're in the area and want to give it a shot, shoot me an email and we'll see. Erica, I'm looking at you.

::exhale::

That's the idea at least. The fine-tuning of wherabouts will happen much later, but that's the general premise. It'll be a grand ole time.

I Make My Friends Famous

2007-01-20T23:06:00.000-08:00

First, Ms. Kerri and now...

Ms. Kassie is featured on Diabetes Teen Talk.

If you're nice, I might just interview you. ;-)

Pause Button

2007-01-15T10:50:00.000-08:00

I have been kind of neglectful with this place for the past week. The OC New Me Challenge has taken up a bit more of my time than I thought. Of course, there's also that whole "school" business I'm still involved in.

Classes are going well. I'm taking Biology of Cancer, International Journalism, Communication Economics and Dark Self East & West. Biology of Cancer is interesting and I actually saw what an insulin molecule looks like (it was during an overview of protein formation). International Journalism is with one of my favorite professors, but we still haven't done a lot this week. Communication Economics is economics, which means I'm going to hate it, but at least the professor is energetic. Dark Self East & West is a religious studies class focusing on how religions use and justify evil in people. Our first discussions was on Nazis.

I have moved into a nice, completely furnished studio apartment about two miles from campus. I have never lived completely on my own like this before, and it makes me a little nervous but I know plenty of people who live or have lived on their own before, so I know that as long as I'm careful I will be okay. But any suggestions on living alone are of course welcome...

I discovered last week that I might actually be graduating at the end of this term and not next term with everyone else. After my classes this term I will have met all the requirements to graduate. The only reason I was going to stay was because I wanted to finish up my Non-Profit Administration minor. Now, part of me wasn't even sure I wanted to finish the minor because I'm not sure I will ever actually become involved in administrating non-profits. Writing for one, sure, but leading it? I'm not sold. Then I discovered that I might not even be able to finish the term because one of the classes I need isn't being offered.

Well, that settle it, I guess.

There is still a chance that the Projected Courses is incomplete and that they will add that class next term. But part of me wouldn't mind just graduating with my degree in Public Relations and a minor in Religious Studies, because that means I could have a few weeks off before starting a job anywhere.

And before you ask me, let me just say:

"No, I don't know where I am going. I just think I know where I want to be."

It's strange to go so long thinking you know exactly where the finishing line is only to realize that it might be a lot closer. While I'm sure it's nice when you are running marathons, for some reason this just doesn't have the same excitement, the same anticipation. The goal moved and now I'm standing here, at a dead stand-still, thinking, "This is where it was the whole time?"

While part of me is more anxious than ever to be finished with school, to have a break and the move on (literally) with my career, part of me just wants to drag these fleeting moments of childhood a little bit longer. High school was supposed to be the embarking of adulthood, but we all know that isn't true. But the end of college really does start everything.

I want to keep my finger on pause just a little bit longer.

Knock Knock. Who's There? You!

2007-01-12T11:20:00.000-08:00

Apparently is National De-Lurking Week in the blogosphere and I only found out about this yesterday.

Man I'm out of the loop.

So if you read this blog and I don't know about it, please introduce yourself. Only has to be a one time thing. Just a little "yo" to know you're out there.

It would make me feel good. :-)

Hopefully people will actually see this post since it looks like my feed on Diabetes Headlines is down. I have no idea how it got deleted but I think it happened around the time I switched to the new Blogger.

::glares in Blogger's general direction::

Newest "Living with Diabetes" article

2007-01-10T12:08:00.000-08:00

The long-awaited new issue of JDRF's Living with Diabetes newsletter is now online. I contributed an article called "Diabetes Burnout: The 'I Can't Take It Anymore' Syndrome."

Check it out!

On the Cusp

2007-01-06T23:53:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry it's been awhile since I've posted. I recently moved back down to where I go to school, and guess what's not working in my studio apartment?

The Internet.

Of course.

And guess what also is broken: my desk.

And guess what isn't built yet: my armoire.

So basically I haven't unpacked anything except for my toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo and pajamas.

Hopefully everything will be fixed by tomorrow, but that's basically why I haven't been online much the past couple of days and why some of you who emailed me haven't heard from me.

Tomorrow is the last day to sign up for the OC New Me Challenge, so get at it. We actually have quite a few people who have signed up which really exciting. I also keep getting new prizes which is even cooler. People are just so gosh darn generous. Keep an eye on that website for more details.

I'm currently back at my parent's because my younger brother just turned 17.

Honestly, how does that happen? Wasn't he 12 like yesterday?

Sigh.

It's not that I'm feeling old, it's just I feel like time moves so quickly. But at the same time, with my impending graduation and The Move to Somewhere Else, time also seems to be moving so slowly. So much has happened in recent years that it makes me nostalgic for when I was young and the world was so much smaller. Yet, there is so much going on now, with the website, the Challenge, a new book project I'm working on with a friend. And still there is so much more coming that it makes me anxious for all the new, exciting adventures that I know are just about to happen.

It's like I don't know which place I want to be. I wonder if it ever goes away.

OC New Me Update!

2007-01-03T12:20:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that parents are now allowed to join the OC New Me Challenge! I know I said before that they weren't, but with some modifications I figured out a way to have parents involved but without co-mingling with the people with diabetes.

If you want more information, visit the OC New Me blog.

If you want to sign up, email me.

Year in Review

2007-01-02T12:37:00.000-08:00

I did this Year in Review on my other blog (a Livejournal for high school peeps) and I am continuously amazed that memes that my high school friends fill out eventually find its way into the O.C.

Anyway, here is my Year in Review meme, taken from both Lemonade Life and Everything Related.

January: Don't worry, my Fine Blogging Friends, this isn't an "au revoir" post. Me? Get off my Soapbox? Ha ha, never!

February: I love JIMMY STEWART.

March: As you can see, I've moved.

April: I’m home!!!

May: I'm finished with 2 out of four of my projects. Which means it is now Meme Time.

June: Well, I can finally post the big news that I have been waiting since FEBRUARY to tell you all.

July: Having had Type 1 diabetes for 12.5 years, I have had my fair share of endocrinologist appointments.

August: Just in case you haven't been paying attention... 5 more days!

September: Last Wednesday I was given a trial of DexCom by the Nice Folks at OHSU.

October: 1. Do you still have tonsils? Yes. I plan to keep them there, seeing as how they haven't caused me any issues. If it ain't broke, don't fix.

November: Well, folks. It's up.

December: 1. Congratulations to all the nominees! Very exciting.

~*~

Honestly, I don't think these sentences make my life sound very interesting. I think I need to work on more dramatic opening lines.

There was lots of traveling this year, both in Real Life and in the blogosphere with me switching blogs. There was school. There were new developments in my diabetes care (new endocrinologist and the six-day trial of DexCom). And there were O.C. projects with the relaunch of the Official site and the Blog Awards (winners announced on Thursday).

Oh, and I also turned 21.

My Story

2006-12-31T14:57:00.000-08:00

Life is a story.

Everyday, I hear stories. Anecdotes on blogs and message boards, memories in books and intimate conversations with friends and complete strangers.

As a journalist, I am trained to see things as a story. How do I make what this into a story? How do I make it a story people want to read?

At Imago Dei today, our speaker was Don Miller, an amazing storyteller and one of the most non-abrasive Christian I have encountered.

He spoke about stories, which is fitting since he is an writer. He focused on what makes an interesting story. Conflict, for one, makes things interesting. Stories without any conflict are boring. The reason, he says, that we resonate with stories that have conflict is because our own lives are filled with conflict. Relationships, culture, politics, spirituality, and health all come with imbedded conflict.

He quoted Robert McKee, who wrote a 500-page book on the philosophy of the story. What makes a good story? For the most part, it's the continuation of the positive and negatives in our lives. Good things happen, then bad, then good, then bad. If it was all good or all bad, nobody would care. It wouldn't be interesting, or realistic.

He also discussed ambition and dreams. Protagonists have ambition or dreams to turn the bad things into good things. The character's resolve to make a positive difference is something the audience can rally around. It doesn't matter that something bad happened to the character. It's the fact that the character wants to do something about the conflict that resonates with the audience.

I can see how this is true in my own life. My life is always more exciting when I discover a challenge and seek to resolve it, rather than just sitting in my bubble universe pretending everything is fine and dandy. There is no colorful excitement, no adventure and no reward when you live in a beige, static existence.

Don said he didn't like resolutions or goals because if he fails, he is a horrible person. He prefers dreams. As he sat in a hotel room in Tennessee, he wrote a list of dreams that he wanted to fulfill. There is no time limit on dreams. They were meaningful dreams, about relating with God and being faithful, not afraid.

You can live a life of dreams or you can live a life of fear, he said, and a life of fear is a very boring story.

I don't want to live my life in fear of being rejected, alone or sick. I want to live my life with dreams that I will find a new home this year after I graduate, a place where I can truly express myself alongside people I trust and respect. I want to live my life with dreams that I will have a long life, full of wonderous adventures, miraculous encounters and lots of laughter.

I want to live my life with the hope that my dreams will come true, not fear that they won't. I know not everything I dream will happen (I'm not holding my breath for that Oscar), but at least I can move forward knowing that no matter what happens, I am not afraid. By embracing the (literal and figurative) highs and lows, my life is becoming a more amazing story.

Life is too important of a story to be hindered by fear.

The OC New Me Challenge!

2006-12-29T00:58:00.000-08:00

Well, ladies and gents, the 2006 year is coming a close and while for many of us it is a time of reflection on our many great accomplishments of the year (moving to a new state, finding a fabulous job, starting the process of adopting the mostly adorable Guatemalan baby on the planet...not to name names of course), but for many of us, it is also a time of reflection of what wasn't accomplished and preparing ourselves for the dreaded New Years Resolutions.

Why do New Years Resolutions suck so much? I mean, for one thing, we pick our Resolutions, right? So you would think something we chose to do would be slightly easier. But no. Most people act like they have a big, burly man with a shotgun pointed at their head screaming, "Make a move and I shoot!"

My impressions are that two main Resolutions of the OC (and yes I realize I'm making a general assumption of all 170 of us and no I don't have a problem with that) are: 1) lose weight and 2) lower the A1C). Losing weight, I believe, is the #1 Resolution of 99.9% of America and lowering the A1C is probably the #1 Resolution of 99.9% of people with diabetes.

So what are we going to do about it? Well, this is my suggestion and contribution to the Great Lowering of Numbers Challenge: a game!

That's right. A game. I call it: The OC New Me Challenge.

Here's how you play:

You e-mail me and tell me what your current A1C or weight (or both) is, and you tell me what your goal is. Then you decide how much you want to wager that you can reach your goal by December 31, 2007. It can be as little as $5 or as much as $100. Whatever you think will motivate you. Every two weeks, you will send me digital photos of your weight (take a picture of the number on the scale while you're on it) or of your 14-day blood sugar average on your meter (you'll let me know your A1C at your check-ups). This shows your progress. As you make progress, you will qualify to win cool monthly prizes like books, CDs, giftcards and other really cool prizes that I can't even tell you about. At the end of the year, if you reach your goal, you get your money back! But if you don't reach your goal, I get to keep your money. No, I'm just kidding. The money goes into the Winners Fund, which is then split evenly among the people who do reach their goal.

So basically, reach your goal or your friends get your cash. Eek! The more you wager, the more likely you are to reach your goal, so I recommend wagering around $20-$30.

Sound like fun? Well you should sign up! Between December 29 and January 7, you sign up by emailing me the aforementioned information. There is no limit to the number of people, but you have to have diabetes. If you're a parent, you have to sign up your child, not you. When you sign up, I will give you more information about where to send your wager and we will work out how to send in your progress updates. Visit the OC New Me Challenge website for continuing updates.

It's a fun game to improve health, so I think everybody should join!

What have you got to lose?

A Grand Round Lady

2006-12-26T10:33:00.000-08:00

The last Grand Round of the 2006 and I finally submitted something.

And it's featured too!

My post from the night before my 12th anniversary, Crash, is one of the patient stories for this week's Grand Rounds at Blogborygmi. If you haven't read it, you should.

Today the holiday festivities continue with Candy House Day and I'm starting off my day with a 96 mg/dl. It's fun reading all the posts about your holiday. I'm glad to see everyone had a really good time! I miss reading posts though. Hope to "see" everyone soon!

Merry Christmas to one and all!

2006-12-25T13:20:00.000-08:00

Or as one set of my Christmas cards said... Merry Cat-mas!

Hope Santa brought you everything you wanted, and to my Jewish friends, Happy Belated Hanukkah! I also hope everyone has a pleasant end of 2006 and best wishes for health, humor and happiness in 2007!

Love Always,
Allison

Hells Yes

2006-12-20T21:14:00.000-08:00

First little mousies bring a new discovery to diabetes research, and now this:

UN Resolution Caps Momentous Year for Diabetes World

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Deck the Halls with Tunes of Christmas

2006-12-19T09:25:00.000-08:00

Okay, George tagged me for one of the hardest memes I've ever seen. I'm not a huge fan of Christmas music anymore. After being tortured by it at work (non-stop Christmas music for three and a half hours a day, four days a week), it really isn't something I listen to unless I must.

That being said, there are a few holiday tunes that I actually do enjoy listening to, from the past, to the present, to Christmas future.

5. "Santa Baby" - Madonna or Marilyn Monroe. I like both of them, I can't choose. I know, this is my one "Ohmygosh, you like what song?" But I really think this song is funny and I can't help but "boo-boo-be-doo" along with it.

All my credibility is gone, isn't it?

4. "The Hanukkah Song" - Adam Sandler. Okay, okay. I know it isn't a Christmas song, and I know I'm not even Jewish. But come on. This is not only a great holiday song, but freaking hilarious. Anyone who hasn't heard it needs to immediately download it from iTunes or musical piracy software of your choice.

3. "Silent Night." We have a little angel music box that plays this song while spinning around. It's the first Christmas song that I remember from my childhood.

2. "Carol of the Bells." My friend Jenny used to play this on the piano and it would mesmorize me. It's the one song that makes me wish I played the piano...or any musical instrument at all.

1. "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo" - Transiberian Orchestra. I'm surprised no one has mentioned them (either that or I just haven't noticed - apologies!) as this is quite possibly the most beautifully orchestrated song I have ever heard. It's on repeat several times in my CD player. I will stop whatever I'm doing to listen to it. Unless I'm driving.

Tagged: Penny, Vivian, Sandra, Julia and Shannon. Apologies if you're already tagged.

Funny D-Pictures continued....

2006-12-18T00:35:00.001-08:00

DSCN0418
Originally uploaded by amblass.

Have you ever walked around outside for hours bundled up in the cold winter air.... browsing an outdoor market, chatting with friends at a cafe, sight-seeing in a big city...

Have you ever attempted to test your blood sugar after spending all that time outside only to receive an error message each time you stick in the little test strip?

The only remedy is to wait for it to warm up...

Well, here is my friend Carissa's ingenius solution to warming up a glucose meter quickly and effectively.

Little Notes from the Past Week

2006-12-14T20:33:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since I've posted, which I suppose is a nice respit from the 30-day marathon of posting from November.

I spent my weekend in Seattle, Washington. We drove up Saturday afternoon and stayed in a hostel downtown. We had dinner in the Queen Anne District, watched The Holiday downtown, and had drinks and cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory. Since I had used up my glucose tablets within the first hour of being in Seattle, Annie and I searched for an open pharmacy so I could buy a soda (both Rite-Aid and Walgreens close at 10, bastards), so I ended up carrying home a plastic cup of Pepsi from the Cheesecake Factory. Which, after half a slice of cheesecake, three slices of bread and a Long Island Iced Tea, I certainly didn't need...

On Sunday we visited a flea market in the Fremont District and had our morning coffee at the only Peet's in Seattle. We visited the dinosaurs and tropical butterflies exhibit before viewing the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Pacific Science Center. It was fabulous and so exciting to be in the same room with them. Unfortunately, because they are so old and fragile, the room was completely dark and the scrolls were timed to light up at thirty-second intervals. Not that it mattered, considering you couldn't read them. Unless you speak Ancient Hebrew. We had dinner at Sky City, the revolving restaurant on the Space Needle. It was a great restaurant, except they didn't cook my salmon (which I was getting to avoid the raw Ahi tuna). Our poor waiter felt so bad that not only did he not charge me for dinner, he also brought out chocolate covered strawberries for Annie and Carissa to eat while I finished dinner. Then we got a sundae dish that was sitting in container of dry ice, so we had that Halloween mist covering our table. Some ice cream accidentally fell inside, so it began bubbling and gurgling and we had the hardest time controlling our laughter. Even the couple sitting across from us were laughing!

On Monday we visited Pike Place Market to do some Christmas shopping and took the ferry across Pudget Sound to visit some friends of Annie's. Then we came home!

Other Things to Note:

As Scott so graciously pointed out, I am indeed in the JDRF quarterly magazine, Countdown. Again. This is my second appearance this year, and my fourth or fifth total. And yet I've never graced the cover. I'm going to have to work on that...

A direct link to my column on growing up with diabetes that was published in Tweens and Teens magazine, a local NYC-based magazine, in November has also been posted. Now you too can read, Just a Little Different, the most condensed explanation of diabetes I've ever written.

I received my copy of Cheating Destiny today! This is the fourth diabetes book I have received. It's one of my favorite things about being me. Free stuff. But I am ridiculously bad at actually doing anything with them. However, this time instead of reviewing the book, I am going to be interviewing James Hirsch for Diabetes Teen Talk. Look for that in the sometime-soon future.

The first round of Christmas cards were sent out today! More Christmas cards will be sent out tomorrow...

We are having a crazy storm right now so I should probably log off before wind does it for me!

Odd Places

2006-12-08T13:41:00.000-08:00

For approximately three hours, I had been wearing my Franco Sarto flats with blue socks. In those three hours:

I walked from my house to my car.

I drove to Portland.

I walked three blocks downtown to the PGE offices.

I meandered around the third floor looking for something to do.

I sat at my desk pretending to be working while in actuality I'm reading blogs, checking my email and trying in vain to purchase tickets to the Dead Sea Scroll exhibit.

I tested my blood sugar only to discover I was 445 mg/dl (I think I tried to bolus for breakfast before I actually reconnected after taking a shower... oops).

I drank an entire can of soda in 3 minutes.

I got up and walked through the cubicle to the bathroom.

That is the point when I felt something funny in my shoe. A pebble from the street? Some strange sticky thing from my bedroom floor now clinging to the bottom of my sock?

I take off the shoe. There's nothing inside.

I examine the bottom of my foot. A blue sock is all I see.

I put the shoe back on. I can still feel it. I take the shoe back off again.

I feel the bottom of my foot.

There's some hard. Rectangular. Small.

In my horror, I stick my hand into my stock and retrieve a tiny blood glucose test strip that has been inside my sock all morning.

In The Sock.

And I thought the Broken Printer Incident was bad.

The Greatest Online Quiz Ever Created

2006-12-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

And you all thought I was a nice person naturally. Heck no! This altruistic, philanthropic visionary has worked night and day to hone her skills in being adorable and thoughtful.

It's the funniest, most creative online quiz ever created.

Seriously.

Go take it.

Now.

Come on.

Then go post your results so you can be amazed at the accuracy of it all and we can have a good laugh at your expense.

The End...

2006-12-05T13:51:00.000-08:00

....of my last fall term at college EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES!

I just returned from turning in my portfolio for my Advanced Public Relations Writing class and I have exactly one month and 3 days until I start winter quarter.

That's right.

One month.

Except I still have my internship until next Friday, so technically less than that. But still, one month of zero homework.

I know there is going to be much more suspense and anticipation (as well as the return of the nifty countdown clock that was launched to highlight my impending 21st birthday) once we hit spring term, which begins in April. My school is on quarters so while everyone is excited about starting their last semester ever and their last registration ever and their last advisor appointment ever, I'm still stuck with one more after this.

Oh so close. So close so close so close.

Six months close.

Notes About the Awards

2006-12-04T12:25:00.000-08:00

1. Congratulations to all the nominees! Very exciting.

2. I'm absolutely addicted to checking the voting. 65 votes so far! Wow! I check three, four, five times a day. It's like crack.

3. I've noticed several people thank "the person" who nominated you. If you were nominated, it's because at least 10 or more people nominated you, not just one!

4. Several other people have noticed that all categories are mandatory. I did this because I want people to get outside of their comfort zone and spend some time reading new blogs, rather than just the same handful that we always do.

However, I'm completely open to the idea of making some of the voting optional, especially the very specialized sections like Type 1, Type 2 and Parents. I'm also open to having the nominating and voting process shorter (mostly because the majority of votes are cast during the first week, with only a few stragglers the rest of the month) and having the remaining time spent just reading and reviewing the nominees.

5. I'm completely open to thoughts about how the Awards are run. This is sort of a trial-and-error kind of thing (kind of like diabetes management...). We're kind of like the MTV Movie Awards - I'm open to starting new categories and dropping ones that don't work anymore. The timeline and all that are also flexible, but I am staying put with the nomination starting on November 1st and the Awards being announced on January 4th (I need to keep something consistent!).

6. Remember, this is supposed to be fun, dammit!

7. Thinking about next year? One of the new requirements is that your blog must be updated in the month of August and you have to be listed in the Directory. If you are a Resident Lurker and decided to start blogging, please send me a submission form.

And the Nominees Are...

2006-12-02T00:21:00.000-08:00

2ND ANNUAL DIABETES O.C. BLOG AWARDS

*Best Blog
A Shot in the Dark
Diabetes Mine
Diabetes Self-Management
Major Bedhead
Scott's Diabetes Journal
Six Until Me
The B.A.D. Blog

*Best Adult With Type 1 Blog*
Artificially Sweetened
Candid Diabetes
Scott's Diabetes Journal
Six Until Me
The B.A.D. Blog

*Best Adult with Type 2 Blog*
Confessions of a Food Adict
David Mendosa's Blog
Kathleen's Living with Diabetes
Tales of my Thirties
Very Old, Very Healthy Diabetic

*Best Parent of a Child with Diabetes*
A Shot in the Dark
DanielDoo
Major Bedhead
Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure
My Son Has Diabetes

*Best Female Blogger*
Amy Tenderich – Diabetes Mine
Art-Sweet – Artificially Sweetened
Kerri Morrone – Six Until Me
Lyrehca – Managing the Sweetness Within
Sandra – A Shot in the Dark

*Best Male Blogger*
David Mendosa - David Mendona's Blog
George Simmons - The B.A.D. Blog
Johnboy - Infusion of Thought
Kevin Perese - Parenthetic Diabetic
Scott Johnson - Scott's Diabetes Journal

*Best Diabetes News Blog*
Close Concerns Weblog
Diabetes Daily
Diabetes Self-Management
Diabetes.Blog.Com
The Diabetes Blog

*Best Non-Blog Diabetes Resource*
Childrenwithdiabetes.com/ Children With Diabetes Foundation (organization)
dLife (organization)
Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (organization)
Think Like a Pancreas – Gary Scheiner (book)
When You're a Parent with Diabetes - Kathryn Gregorio Palmer (book)

Congratulations to all the nominees!

VOTE NOW!

Last Day of NaBloPoMo and I'm Cheating

2006-11-30T12:19:00.000-08:00

..*[ABC's OF YOU]*...

[A] is for AMOUNT of money in your wallet: I don't have any cash. Who carries cash? Isn't that why the debit card was invented?

[B] is for BEER of choice: beer makes me want to vomit.

[C] is for CAR you drive: redish 94 Nissan Sentra (but not for long! damn broken seatbelt alarm that honks at me spontaneously while I'm driving).

[D] is for DUMBEST thing you've done lately: not only did I think we didn't have Power Point on my parent's computer, thus rendering me unable to do the presentation, we *had* it and I just couldn't *find* it.

[E] is for most EXPENSIVE gift you've received: My college education isn't really a gift, I guess, but it's the most expensive thing my parents have purchased for me. Second to that is my pump, also not really a gift.

Honestly, I think my set of luggage was the most expensive "gift" they bought for me. Yes, luggage. For Christmas last year. Don't worry, I asked for it.

[F] is for FARTHEST place from home you've been: Paris, France.

[G] is for GOAL you would like to achieve before you die: My friend who did this survey before me wrote "sex." And you know, as a 21-year-old virgin, sex is definitely high on my list of things to accomplish before I die.

But for the sake of being classy, I will say my goal is to travel to Israel during either Easter/Passover or Christmas. Probably Easter.

[H] is for color of your HAIR: Brown. I'm as brunette as you can get.

[I] is for 3 ITEMS in the room you're in right now: I'm at work, so a computer, a telephone and way too much paper.

[J] is for JACKET you wear the most: My tan peacoat from Gap.

[K] is for names for your KIDS: I don't have children (obviously, see "G"). But I like the name Sage for my first child, boy or girl. That's really about as far as I've gone.

[L] is for LAST person you kissed: My mom.

[M] is for MEMORY from your childhood: Playing make-believe with my friend Jenny in my room.

[N] is for time you go to bed at NIGHT: right about 11. Any later and I simply can't get up for work.

[O] is for OLDEST thing you own: The china in the china cabinet. It belonged to my great-grandma.

[P] is for PERSON you would like to meet: Everyone from the O.C.! And Jesus.

[Q] is for what you are the QUEEN of: the O.C., apparently.

[R] is for ROOM you're in right now: my cubicle on the 3rd floor of the Portland World Trade Center.

[S] is for STATES you've been to: Washington, Oregon, California, Montana, Minnesota, Illinois, New York, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida.

[T] is for TIME it is right now: 12:32 p.m.

[U] is for the color of your UMBRELLA: I don't own one. I'm an Oregonian. Umbrellas are for wimps and Californians.

[V] is for worst music VIDEO you've seen lately: "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls. I loathe them.

[W] is for WHERE you want to live when you grow up: NYC area.

[X] is for number of X-RAYS you've had: Just one on my foot, plus the dental ones.

[Y] is for favorite game you played when you were YOUNG: Life!

[Z] is for ZOO you've visited: Portland Zoo and San Diego Wild Animal Park.

Sassy But Sucky

2006-11-29T08:31:00.000-08:00

I tried writing how I'm feeling right now but the words are coming to me without sounding really pathetic.

I was supposed to work on a PowerPoint presentation that I left to the last minute, then ended up not being able to do because I didn't think we had PowerPoint, and another teammate got annoyed so now she's doing it and I feel awful because we actually do have PowerPoint, it's just on a different part of the computer.

And the voting on the Design and Dazzle contest is a nightmare because people are voting like 60 times when they can only vote once so Heather (my wonderful webmaster) is spending all her time today deleting duplicate votes.

She's mad. My classmates are mad. I'm the one responsible for both of them.

Oh, and if you want to know my true feeling about the DiabetesBlogNetwork, I'm ignoring them until they go away. I've worked countless hours on the O.C. website and they swoop in saying they're going to be the next hub of action for a diabetes community. Well fine.

I'm a bitter, angry girl right now. And I haven't even had breakfast yet.

Nice way to kick of my Wednesday morning.

At least my blood sugar is 116 mg/dl.

The Truth is Revealed.

2006-11-28T09:17:00.000-08:00

"I like you because you are a sassy pants" -- Mr. George Simmons.

Who? Me?

Oops...

2006-11-27T09:43:00.000-08:00

So I screwed up my NaNoBloMo run... and I was doing so well. I'm almost a little heartbroken.

Almost.

I was going to go on and write last night when I went home to drop off my dad's laptop, but then we ended up spending an hour searching for hotels in New York City and Norwalk, CT.

Why were we searching for hotels in NYC and Norwalk?

BECAUSE I'M GOING THERE NEXT MARCH!!

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just a little bit excited, can you tell?

Details to come much later, but I will be hitting up Norwalk, New York City and Philadelphia.

I originally thought about staying in NYC for the whole six nights. Uh, yeah, not at $180 a pop (and that's on the lower end of things). Sigh.

Anyway, if you're like me and wondering what you should be doing the last weekend of March, you should be planning on coming to NYC/CT to see ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, you know, Kerri, and Violet maybe... and some other people who I think live around there...

I will keep you all posted on the stops for the East Coast Lemonade Tour as they develop. If you'd like to put in a request, please email me.

Attention O.C. Lovers!

2006-11-25T12:39:00.000-08:00

ONE MORE WEEK TO NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITE BLOGGERS FOR THE O.C. BLOG CHOICE AWARDS. NOMINATIONS END PROMPTLY ON NOVEMBER 31ST.

NOMINEES WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON DECEMBER 1ST.

For more information and the nomination form,

visit the Official Diabetes O.C. Website.

An Experiment in Independence

2006-11-24T19:01:00.000-08:00

Unlike most people who are spending the weekend traveling to the homes of family and friends for the holiday, I actually left my family for the weekend (don't worry, I went home for Thanksgiving dinner - I'm not that deliquent of a daughter).

A friend from my freshman year in college asked me if I would apartment-sit for her while she and her partner went down to California to see their families. Since they lives only twenty minutes away from my parents', I agreed.

This is quite an experience. I'm staying in their adorable, retro-style one-bedroom apartment with their two cats, Lola and Bug, and two bunnies, Jackie and Benson. Their apartment is located in the quaint historic Portland neighborhood, the Alphabet District (named because the streets are listed in alphabetical order from Ankeny to Wilson - it stops at W for some reason). The neighborhood is filled with gorgeous, well-maintained Victorian mansion and East Coast style apartment buildings. Well, I think they're East Coast style. A lot of brick. You guys have a lot of brick, right? The apartment is on "J" - Johnson, and is only 2 blocks away from one of Portland's most famous shopping districts, NW 23rd (a.k.a. "Trendy-third").

Sixteen blocks lined with outrageously expensive boutiques, gorgeous furniture stores, a Vespa store (I'm serious, an actual store next to a shoe store and Thai restaurant where you can buy Vespas!) classy restaurants, cheap bookstores, and two Starbucks. I spent the afternoon mulling around, popping in and out of shops at random. On Black Friday, I was committed to keeping as far away from a mall as possible. NW 23rd was pretty chill. It's always busy, since it's one of the nicest places to walk, shop and eat in Portland, but it wasn't a complete madhouse.

Now I'm sitting here in a cute coffeeshop with mural-painted walls, college students finishing school projects on their laptops (I blend right in), a goth kid with a black mohawk playing chess with a skinny forty-something man, and the whirling of the foam machine blending in with guitar harmonies, drum beats, and the melodic voice of a blond lady wearing a red dress, red fishnet stockings and black flats with ribbons tied at the ankles.

I would post pictures of all this, but I'm borrowing Father's really nice new black HP laptop ("you break, you buy it") and my camera's computer connection cord is still connected to my computer at home. So we'll have pictures on Sunday, when I go back to drop of the laptop before the workweek starts again.

I think I'm going to add a belated item to my list of things I'm thankful for. It's nice to have the opportunity to try living somewhere new for a few days, and especially with my impending move to Somewhere Else rapidly approaching, I need to brush up on my independent living strategies. So far so good.

Though I have to say, the more time I spend walking around the Alphabet District, seeing all those signs for "Apartments Available" hanging from brick apartment complexes that were built in the 1900s (hey, that's old for Oregon), the more I want to stay right here.

Oh decisions, decisions.

Happy Turkey Day!

2006-11-23T16:29:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends.

Eat lots of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, salad, rolls, and whatever else you add to your festive table.

Remember, "the powers that be" in the diabetes community say you can splurge on special occassions.

And this, my friends, is a special occassion so have at it!

I don't normally do this but....

2006-11-22T14:25:00.000-08:00

7:31 a.m. : 297 mg/dl (I'm PMSing, gimme a break). Correction bolus. Temp basal 120%.

8:00 a.m. : 1/2 blueberry muffin from home and small coffee from Peet's, 8 units of Symlin, meal bolus squared over 2 hours.

9:23 a.m. : 123 mg/dl.

12:02 pm. : 128 mg/dl.

Hells yes.

The S Factor

2006-11-21T22:57:00.000-08:00

Considering some nasty lows that came from what the medical community seemed to regard as the "miracle drug" for diabetics, I'm surprised I stayed on it for as long as I did.

The drug left my blood sugars unpredictable, sometimes cresting evenly after a meal, sometimes skyrocketing to the high heavens, and sometimes crashing flat on my face.

It made exercising when I want to excruciating to figure out, and I could never quite figure out if I was giving the right amount.

So that's initially why I stopped taking it.

Symlin, you silly person, not insulin. I'm not that stupid.

At first, I liked Symlin. A1C dropped another .5% and I lost 5 lbs. But the shots stung like a bee biting my ass, and I had some lows that seemed to be moving in for winter.

I slowly but surely started forgetting to bring my Symlin with me to school. I was down to taking Symlin once a day, and even then, I wasn't sure if it was working.

Then I went on the DexCom and witnessed my blood sugar dropping 40 points post-prandial, after taking 10 units of Symlin but zero units of insulin. It only happened that one time, but after that, adios Symlin.

Until now.

So why am I returning to the Drug of Undeniable Annoyance?

Well, first there's the whole "rising post-prandial" blood sugars. Oh, who am I kidding, it's the whole "rising pre-and-post-and-everywhere-in-between-prandial" blood sugars.

That's a pretty good reason.

Then there's the "my stomach is seeing an awful lot of fresh air these days" reason. I thought moving home was going to make eating healthier easier, but after twenty-two years of cooking dinners, my family is pretty much set on eating Jack in the Box and Taco Bell at least once a week (that is, once for Jack in the Box, and once for Taco Bell).

And I'm sure the scones and muffins from Peet's aren't helping either.

I want to say these problems can be fixed with insulin, and I feel guilty thinking that I can't figure out some way of even faking control with insulin. But I'm bouncing so hard my stomach is doing cartwheels.

I'm hoping that by restarting Symlin I can knock down a few of these stratospheric postprandial highs.

They don't just hurt my eyes and my kidneys and my heart.
They hurt my soul too.

Tell Me Something Good

2006-11-20T22:50:00.000-08:00

I was talking to Mr. G-Dawg about blogging. I was telling him how I didn't know what to blog about tonight because I've been blogging for nineteen straight days (today being #20) and gosh-darnit my life just isn't that interesting!

After telling the G-Man about my frustrations, he said, "I was thinking about blogging about why I blog."

"We know why you blog, George." I'm pretty sure you know why I blog, so we won't get into that.

Then I thought about a question a boy I used to know would ask me during my sophomore year in college.

"Tell me something good."

Sophomore year was a very hard year. I had roommate trouble, parent trouble, money trouble, school trouble, friend trouble, love trouble (did I mention this boy was the guy I was madly in love with?). It was the year I cut myself multiple times, it was the year I started smoking regularly and it was the year he broke my heart.

It was the year I was most angry with God.

There wasn't very much good I could think of.

But it's different now. Now, as a senior about to graduate from college (on time, might I add), I have a happy, healthy family (except for my brother who has pink eye - ouch), a job that feels like a calling, a solid education from a reputable school, a beautiful, awesome Saviour who loves me no matter what, a church where I finally feel like I belong, and while my list of friends may be small in number, they mean the world to me and I don't know where I would be without them.

With only six months left before graduation, I am very optimistic about my future and while the concerns of daily diabetes management could drag me down, I know I have so much more to live for. Cities to explore, people to meet, events to influence, and hopefully, someday, a child to raise.

Many suns will rise into the sky, and days I will conquer.

And then, of course, there's the O.C. How could I forget the O.C. The people who have made such a difference in how I view a community, how I view my own health and mental well-being, and who have allowed me the opportunity to spout my opinions in hopes of making some kind of useful impact.

No wonder sophomore year sucked so badly, it was before the O.C. was created! Now it all makes sense!

As for a "love interest," it would be nice, I suppose. But I don't feel that my life is missing any amount of love. Between God, my family, my Real Life friends, and my wonderful Imaginary Internet Weirdo friends, I feel very loved and that is a very good thing.

Now it's your turn: Tell me something good.

8:52 a.m. Edit: Stop giving me compliments about the O.C.! I already know that you love what I do! Tell me something good and new in your life! I'm not fishing for compliments and it completely defeats the purpose of my request to write about me. So please, please stop doing it.

Post-O-Matic

2006-11-19T21:13:00.000-08:00

I swear Memes were invented for people too lazy to think of something to talk about.

(Ripped off from Julia and Kerri.)

Explain what ended your last relationship?
Last relationships? Nothing. Because I've never had a last relationship. Or a current one. But I'm hopeful for a future one.

When was the last time you shaved?
Last night. During the winter I shave about once a week.

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Sound asleep.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

Checking to see if REBA was on (it wasn't, I missed it because I didn't know they changed the time) and showing my parents my new hoodie from Anthrolopologie that I bought for $4. That's right. Single digit. Thank God for a clearance item on sale with an $18 gift card. It was practically free.

Are you any good at math?
No. I haven't taken a math class since my junior year in high school for a reason.

Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
I went with my very good friend, Daniel, who I met at diabetes camp. He went to another high school, but I didn't have a boyfriend or any reasonable prospects at my school, so I asked him if he would come with me. He wore a tuxedo. We went to a nice dinner and just laughed and joked around and then we went to the prom at the Zoo. Yes, we had our prom at the zoo. Unfortunately they didn't let the penguins come dance with us, but I think that would have been pretty funny.

Do you have any famous ancestors?
Not that I'm aware of.

Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Yes, but my parents are paying for college so while I technically took out a loan, I don't have to pay it back.

Last thing received in the mail?
My paycheck from my internship at PGE.

How many different beverages have you had today?
Four. Orange juice with breakfast since I was 85 mg/dl, a Peppermint Mocha at Peet's, a diet soda at Pizza Schmizza and a Thai Iced Tea at some Thai restaurant in Portland.

Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machine?
Of course, but I leave really long ones. I tend to start off with "Hey, it's me" since I'm assuming they saw on their caller ID that I called and I usually do this with people I know. If it's someone I don't know that well I'll say "Hey it's Allison." Then I'll go into this really long rambling discussion of what I want to talk to them, giving them detailed choices or instructions and then telling them to call me, email me, IM me, message me on Facebook or comment on Livejournal (I'm seriously the easiest person in the world to get a hold of). I frequently am cut off by the voicemail lady saying I've run out of time and then I have to re-record the entire message, only faster.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
No Doubt and Garbage. 2002.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Of course! Who doesn't? It's classic, it's romantic, it's fun. Oh that's right, Julia doesn't. Loser. :-P

What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had?
Getting my wisdom teeth out. Oh dear God.

What is out your back door?
A huge deck, a waterfall, two lawns, and lots of trees. Yeah, my backyard pretty much kicks ass.

Any plans for Friday night?
I am housesitting for my friend Cori and she lives in Northwest Portland in a very chic neighborhood, so I'm sure I'll find something fun to do.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
Makes it all crazy frizzy because Oregon beaches are windy. Like knock-you-down-sideways windy.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Yes. I find them simply wonderful and awful for my blood sugars.

Have you ever been to a planetarium?
I've been to one, in Philadelphia.

Do you re-use towels after you shower?
At school, yes, because I usually forget that I need to get a clean one so I'll use the same one for much longer than is probably hygenic. At home, yes, because my mother yells at me for being wasteful if I don't.

Some things you are excited about?
Traveling, seeing friends and family, meeting someone I respect for the first time, free diabetes products that people send me (more on this later).

What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?
I try not to eat Jello because of the gelatin, even though I really like pudding. Ground horsehoofs aside (I'm sorry, that's what it is!), I don't really like the texture so I try to avoid it at all cost. I try to limit my intake of gummy candy as well.

Describe your keychain(s)?
Buffy car key, Groovy Mobile car key, bike lock keys (which I technically don't need anymore since my bike was stolen), house key, a Chinese jade keychain that my friend Jing bought me for my 20th birthday, and a MiniPak keychain from Pump Wear Inc. that holds candy or glucose tabs (see aforementioned list of things I'm excited about).

Where do you keep your change?
A plastic sandwich bag.

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
At the World Diabetes Day presentation at Lewis and Clark last Tuesday.

What kind of winter coat do you own?
A tan peacoat from Gap.

What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Sunny and warm, I think. At least sunny, since we have pictures, but I don't recall the temperature. Though technically the ceremony was at night, so by then I imagine it was quite cool.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Closed. Emma is not allowed in my room at night because she makes too much noise.

Introducing Ms. Emma Furbutts

2006-11-18T11:05:00.000-08:00

Art has Friday Cat Blogging Day.

Rachel has Sunday Cat Blogging Day.

Kerri has Whenever-Sausage-Does-Something-Ridiculously-Adorable Cat Blogging Day.

So I'm claiming Saturday as Emma Cat Blogging Day.

Emma Furbutts (a.k.a. Chub Chubs and Terror Kitty - and you thought the nickname "Sausage" was bad) is my family's cat. She's three and a half years old and we adopted her from a kitty foster care service. We named her Avis, the Rent-a-Kitty. We originally were going to keep her for just three weeks, but Mom loved her sooo much she just couldn't give her back. Once we officially adopted her, Mom made us change her name to something more appropriate.

Little did we know how crazy she is. Emma rarely likes being touched unless she's in the right mood. She can go from calm and playful to attack mode in a flash. She likes to sharpen her claws on our living room furniture, she gets cat hair everywhere (hence the towel on our living room chair) and sometimes goes bounding around the house likes she's running a marathon. We have no idea what Emma is chasing or why, but she does it.

Une, Deux, Trois...

2006-11-17T13:10:00.000-08:00

Three Things I Do Every Day: Check e-mail. Read a blog. Play with my cat, Emma.

Three Things I Wish I Could Do Every Day: Accomplish something important. Feel well-rested. Fly.

Three Hopes I Have for Today: That my drive home will be short and sweet. That my thigh doesn't keep hurting, forcing me to rip out yet another infusion set. That it says sunny for just awhile longer (our seven-month long dark, gray, rainy winters basically make me want to kill myself. Not really, but kind of.)

Three Things I Hear: Steve talking on the phone. Scott laughing on the phone. Mark going clickity-clack on his keyboard.

Three Ways I Have Changed my Life: Applied for JDRF's Children's Congress three days before the deadline. Went to college. Moved into The House in Eugene and promptly met Annie.

Three People I Wish I Could See Again: Dr. Hansen, Mr. Othus, Darcee.

Three Items I Wish I Owned: A car that has air conditioning and a radio that doesn't squeal when it's on the wrong frequency, an amazing little black dress, and a CGMS that is accurate.

Three Wishes I Had When I Was Young: To be a writer, to travel a lot, and probably to be famous. I've done pretty decent on all accounts.

Three Fears I Have: The death of anyone I love, my knees being touched, never finding someone to fall in love with.

Three Things on My Desk: Lots of paper, four pens, a two cans of diet soda.

Three Thoughts in My Mind: "I really hope this set lasts three days." "I wonder how long I can look at blogs before someone notices." "I really wish it was winter break."

Tag! You're It!

Isn't My Blog Purty?

2006-11-16T23:31:00.000-08:00

You know, I have to admit it.

My blog is looking pretty damn hot right now.

Most of the time when you accidentally delete something it is the worst thing that could possibly happen.

Like losing forty pages of a novel. Or your homework assignment that's due in three hours. Or a blog post that you've been crafty for hours with all kinds of witty remarks and classy inuendos.

Then poof! It's gone.

But this time, I'm okay with the poof!iness of my blog template, because I'm really liking this green. I don't know why I didn't try it out sooner.

I've also added some more graphics to the side because I think graphics make things more interesting. More color and pa-zazz!

I like putting action words in italics.

(Friday morning edit: Ok, so it was so late last night that I couldn't quite remember what comic book hero I was trying to think of, but then I realized I really wanted to write "that old Batman television series where they put the action in BIG YELLOW writing on the screen, like we somehow needed help understanding what the sounds were." So here's my clarification.)

Yoink!

Bam!

Zap!

Whizzz!

Oh the joy of writing late-at-night blog posts.

Sorry I can't provide anything more interesting or thoughtful tonight. I'm just not in that kind of mood.

Motivation

2006-11-15T22:20:00.001-08:00

(I would like to state for the record that the reason this blog post is late in going up is not because I didn't write it on time, it's because the g*d-d**n-f***ing Blogger wouldn't post last night! Sigh.)

Have you ever looked at the day, or the week, or the month or maybe your whole life and wondered exactly what all your time was spent doing?

That's how I feel lately.

I spend all this time at work. I spend all this time at school. I spend all this time at home. And yet, I don't really feel like I've done a heck of a whole lot lately. I haven't really written anything in several weeks. I haven't read a book in months. It takes me ages to send off interview questions these days. I haven't been to the gym since the summer.

I have no idea what I do anymore. I mean, I know the little things I do. But they all seem little.

I update the O.C. with a couple new blogs. Check.

I answer an email about work. Check.

I test my blood sugar. Check, check, check, check and check.

I chat with friends online. Check.

I write a press release or some random in-class assignment that has no bearing whatsoever on anything. Check.

I read blogs. A lot. Check a dozen times.

I'm really not sure if I'm asking a question or if I'm simply venting about a fleeting life. I just feel like I'm doing a lot of busywork with school and my internship and spending two hours everyday in a car. I don't know how to motivate myself to be more productive. To finally stop saying "I should clean my room" or "I should write that article" or "I should do this or that."

It's really my own fault, I guess. But I suppose it's like a lot of things in our lives. We see it. We know it. We acknowledge it. And then we turn around and pretend it doesn't exist, even when it's standing right next to us, tapping its foot and clearing its throat.

Happy World Diabetes Day!

2006-11-14T22:28:00.000-08:00

Yeah, saying Happy World Diabetes Day just doesn't have quite the same ring to it as "Happy Thanksgiving" or "Happy New Year."

I attended a World Diabetes Day event that was held at a local college tonight. I was able to spent some time chatting with my friends from diabetes camp for a bit and meet some new friends with diabetes, which is always nice. Might have a new project in the works... That's so typical of me. I say I'm satisfied with my workload and then I go to an event and get roped into working on another project. Eventually I'm just going to have to start handing out my resume when people ask, "So, what do you do?" because there simply won't be enough time.

Clare Rosenfeld, my friend who started the Unite for Campaign with her mom, then mentioned that at camp my nickname was "Almighty Goddess of Correspondence." It's really didn't hit me until tonight when I was listing off all these different diabetes resources to a young woman that I know that I indeed do know everyone, or at least know of them. My email address book as over 300 people listed.

I am never, ever changing email addresses.

It was very exciting to share diabetes with a whole new group of people who have never been exposed to the disease. As much as we get sick of explaining diabetes yet again, it's forums like this that are exciting to me because these people really want to know what's going on with the global diabetes epidemic. We had at least forty people come to the lecture on the global diabetes epidemic and the UN Resolution and Q&A that my friends from camp held and it was really nice that so many people are taking an active interest in this subject. So often I feel like I have to beat people over the head with why diabetes is important and why they need to help the cause. It was nice that for once people were genuinely curious.

I hope that this event and the others that were held around the world today really shape the way our political leaders view diabetes and that it will both save lives by providing the needed education and medication and by funding the research needed to find a cure.

One focus of the Unite for Campaign is the petition to pass a UN Resolution on diabetes. The Resolution, for those who haven't heard about it, will allow the thousands of diabetes organizations in developing countries to have legitimacy in asking for assistance in providing education and treatment. It will recognized diabetes as a serious global threat.

The petition has already garned 11,000 signatures in just two weeks, and there is still time to make your voice heard. I hope that you are all supporting the Unite for Diabetes Campaign by signing the petition - and if you haven't, why the heck not?

Clare told us that the Ambassador to the U.N. is actively looking at the number of people signing the petition. He will see it if the numbers go up! The more people who sign it, the more he will know that this is an issue he cannot just ignore, and if the United States signs this Resolution, then more countries will sign the Resolution, and if we have more countries signing the Resolution then we will reach the 97 (our of 192) countries that we need to pass the Resolution.

The World Heath Organization has already declared that diabetes is a bigger global health threat than AIDS, but we are still silent. The Resolution will give us our voice at the U.N. next year on November 14, where we can go to the General Assembly and tell our story to not just our media and our government, but to the entire world.

And that indeed will be a happy World Diabetes Day.

OK Go! Go! Go!

2006-11-13T12:07:00.000-08:00

You will never look at a treadmill the same.

The Days Between Friday and Monday

2006-11-12T19:53:00.000-08:00

Also known as The Weekend. Which I'm sure you all are just dying to hear about... weirdos...

Things that make me Happy:

Sneaking a veggie sandwich, side pasta salad and a Diet Raspberry Iced Tea into the movie theater so I could sit in dark silence for two hours while I watch Wil Ferrall have a ridiculously hilarious "ohmygodIcoulddieatanymoment" crisis.
Playing with my kitty, Emma. Who is ridiculously fat and stupid. But cute.
Being quite pleased with myself to discover I have outwitted my insurance company into giving me test strips for three months when they think they're paying for one month (I ordered the amount thinking they were giving me boxes of 50. They're giving me boxes of 100). Take that, bitch.
Sitting at home watching reruns of Laguna Beach and E! reality TV shows.
My pastor, Rick, encouraging us to spend money thoughtfully this Christmas so its spent economically and meaningfully. Then we'll have money leftover to donate to a multi-church offering. Donations will go to a non-profit organizations locally and internationally. Yes, I know it's November. He's going on sabbatical for three months and he won't be here. So we had to do the Christmas sermon now.
I found black pants with pockets! Now I can wear my pump at work and not stash it between my boobs. Holy cheese and crackers!!!
Volunteering at the Ronald McDonald and playing with a cute baby.
Only two more terms until I graduate! TWO MORE TERMS!! YAAAAAAY!!!!

Things that make me Sad:

The Cute Baby has kidney problems because her uterus is on the outside of her body. Eeek! She wears a drip of medication to fight infections, somewhat like a pump. Her cord and my cord were identical. So sad... ::sniff:: But did I mention she was a cute baby?
I have to work tomorrow. Blech.
Drizzle. Rain. Downpour. Wet hair. Squeaky shoes. Damp shirt. Goshdarnittoheck! I HATE the rain. WHY did I have to be born in Oregon?
Circling the freaking parking lot at the mall looking for a spot. The sales weren't even that good!
Waking up with the set inside me, the tubing attached to the set, but not so much with the resevoir. Ugh. "Why good morning, Mr. 425 mg/dl. How nice to see you."
Missing a phone call to play pool at a bar with my friend, Jane because my phone was still on silent from the movie.
Only two more terms until I graduate! TWO MORE TERMS!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Also of Importance:

Calling all Young Evangelical Christian Treehuggers! Would you like to take part in saving God's creation? (I'll give you a hint: the answer is Yes). My church is supporting a new initiative called the Evangelical Youth Climate Initiative. Their website states:

Young Christians committed to Jesus Christ are deeply concerned about the degradation of God's creation and about the "least of these" in peril around the world as a result of global warming pollution. We accept our responsibility to examine our generation's role in pursuing solutions, and to consider the impact on our own lives.

They currently have a petition at their website where young evangelicals (teens and twentysomethings, I guess, I couldn't find an age requirement, so probably any Christian could sign it) can show their support towards stopping global warming and other environments concerns. This petition will be delivered to members of Congress in Washington D.C. this Thursday, November 16. If you are a Christian and support saving the world that God gave us as a gift, then I encourage you to visit Evangelical Climate Initiative to show your support.

Thank you!