i am a TERRIBLE diabetic.

ok, collective sigh everyone!

1, 2, 3

::SSSSIIIIGGGGHHHH::

ah, now doesn't that feel better.

eesh. so far, today, i have tested once. i was 88 when i did, but still. ONCE.

you see, i woke up late (11 AM) and tested. 88. went to have indian food for lunch. bolused as usual. drove home and changed for work (at mcdonalds. second eesh.) and brought my meter. which of course didn't have any more strips because i had used my last one that morning. not that it mattered. even though i said i was going to test during my break, i noticed i had a voice message and decided to handle that rather than test. i figured, when i got back on, i have one more hour til i'm off... it can wait. then i got off, got in the car, drove home and instead of testing (why oh whhhhhyyyyy is this so hard!!!!!!!!), i took a shower. got out, dried hair, got dressed, grabbed meter (which still didn't have strip, mind you), drove to wendy's, got dinner, drove to the place i babysit, had dinner while waiting for mom and baby (still not thinking to test), called parents, greeted mom and baby upon arrival, talked with mom, played with baby, took baby for walk, suddenly realized i had failed to bolus (gah!), played with baby some more, put baby to bed, checked email and somewhere around 10 pm decided maybe i should test.

NO BLOODY TEST STRIPS!

somebody shoot me in the foot! i'm gonna lose one anyway!

seriously, folks, how hard is this? i've had diabetes for 11 1/2 years. come on! how long does it take before one gets a clue and remembers to bring test strips?!

rant, rant. rave, rave. whine, whine. boo hoo.

sigh.

some days i'm really good. some days, i actually test all 5 (ok, 4) times that i'm suppose to. other days, it's more like "eh, i'll do it when i get around to it." it's not like i forget to bolus. except for that minor mishap tonight, i'm generally stinking good about bolusing. i rarely forget.

but testing. hoo boy. there's something really really obnoxiously difficult about testing. it's not even that hard to do. take meter out, open up strip bottle, take out strip, insert strip in little hole, take lancet, prick finger, squeeze finger, put drop of blood onto strip, wait 5 seconds. VOILA! instant control.

a monkey could do it. Why can't I???

well, venting was nice. thank you, cyberspace, for letting me rant, rave, and whine about testing.

and now back to your regularly scheduled programming.