Lemonade Life

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Lucky

"Thirteen years, huh? Well, this is the longest five years I've ever seen."

That's what my mother told me on Thursday when I reminded her that my thirteenth anniversary was in two days.

I don't remember that much about my life before being diagnosed. I have a few scattered memories here and there, but nothing that really makes a huge delineation between being a "child" and a "child with diabetes." All my memories could have very well happened with diabetes.

When I think about it like that, most of my memories could have essentially happened with or without diabetes. Of course, I wouldn't have gone to Washington D.C. for Children's Congress, or Orlando for the CWD Friends for Life, but I think all the things parents look forward to their children doing, I've done.

Went to prom, got a driver's license, graduated from high school, went to college, made friends, got A's (and some B's and C's for good measure).

I did all the things parents probably don't look forward to their children doing.

Drank alcohol, lied, got a speeding ticket, moved away from home, fought persistently for things that probably didn't matter all that much.

Hopefully, someday in the future, I'll have a job (with health insurance), get married, have a baby, travel the world.

Diabetes makes these things harder, but it doesn't stop me from doing any of them. I suppose that's why people always say "it could be worse." I don't like diabetes and I don't enjoy any of the mental and manual labor, but, as I'm learning in Biology of Cancer, there are diseases out there that could have stopped me a lot earlier in my life.

To me, thirteen years isn't a very long time. Not compared to how long I will have it if we don't find a cure. While new technology and research certainly helps us understand and manipulate the disease more effectively, I know the way I think about living with diabetes is vastly different than it was five years ago, and I'm sure it will be different yet again in another five years.

No matter how I feel about having diabetes, what I hope doesn't change is the fact that I am still collecting the memories I would have without diabetes. Memories of laughter, and love, and excitement. Even if it diabetes shapes them, that's alright. Because when the "five years" are over, I don't want it to look like I was waiting for it to end.

Life comes first, the cure comes second.

And we are very lucky that we can have it in that order.

12 Comments:

At January 27, 2007 9:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess you just don't get it. I guess I'm sorry I shouldn't take this out on you, seeing that it's not just you. Even though you act like you're the most amazing person in the world, it's not just you. It's half the people here. You guys don't list people in your blog lists, you don't comment, it's everything you do. Forget it. You just make people feel horrible.

 
At January 27, 2007 9:18 PM , Blogger Allison said...

Dear Anonymous,

I know I'm not the most amazing person in the world. I am a 21 year old college student, with a part-time job, and Real Life friends and family that take up a lot of my time. I put most of my energy into making sure I keep my website update and my responsibilities fulfilled. I am a normal human being with faults and furies just like everyone else.

This is my blog. That means I get to talk about me. I get to talk about what happens to me, both the bad and the good. If you want to listen to something other than me, you are looking in the wrong place.

I really only comment on blog posts that strike me or I feel I can contribute. I am a lurker on a lot of blogs. I use Diabetes Headlines to read all the new blog entries. I list blogs that I have a strong connection to, mostly because I have developed strong friendships with them outside of just a comment here and there. I started the Diabetes O.C. website so I wouldn't have to list all of the blogs. If you're not listed (whoever you are), it isn't because I hate you. I don't have time for hatred. It's a waste of energy.

The fact that you called me a bitch, inconsiderate and self-absorbed makes me pity the fact you worked yourself into a tizzy over someone who really shouldn't have that much control over your emotions. The only person who can make you feel bad about yourself is you. If there is a problem, then you need to figure out a way to make your issues known publicly and work to solve it, rather than cloaking yourself in anonymity so you feel that you have the right to hurl insults. You think you feel bad, how do you think being called a bitch made me feel?

I am not going to apologize for anything I have done because you haven't shown an ounce of consideration or respect, and you, in your comfortable hiding place, have insulted me repeatedly with no care for how it might make me feel. I don't apologize to cowards.

 
At January 28, 2007 12:21 PM , Blogger Vivian said...

Allison - What a D day present, eh? Well, Happy Anniversary. Gosh it is just a D weekend isn't it? You, Daniel, Nina...I wonder who else? We will be sharing cupcakes virtually with you all. =)

 
At January 28, 2007 3:43 PM , Blogger Jen said...

Wow. Happy anniversary to you.
I had these kinds of anonymous comments a month ago, but not to this severity. I hated getting them, and it stinks you have to have them on such a great post.

 
At January 28, 2007 4:47 PM , Blogger Nina said...

Hey Allison! You sure told him! I'm sorry you had to receive such a horrible comment but you handled it well.

Happy belated anniversary! I'm looking forward to March!

 
At January 28, 2007 5:03 PM , Blogger Fred (didn't know it was a girl's name did ya???) said...

Happy anniversary!! Keep blogging, it's yours, about you anad we learn from your life experiences. And as a fellow lurker I say lurk on and comment when you're moved to do so.

 
At January 28, 2007 9:31 PM , Blogger Allison said...

Allison,

Just wanted to say Happy Anniversary! As an active lurker, I totally agree with you and Fred.

:o) Allison

 
At January 28, 2007 10:02 PM , Blogger Allison said...

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate it. :-)

Hugs & Bigger Hugs!

 
At January 29, 2007 5:56 AM , Blogger Erica said...

Wow. Great response, Allison! I'm shocked at the original comment - how immature...

 
At January 29, 2007 6:31 AM , Blogger Bernard said...

Allison

Thanks for all you do.

I don't know that I can wish you a happy anniversary. Maybe I'll hold that back for the future anniversary when you don't have diabetes!

 
At January 29, 2007 7:16 AM , Blogger cHoCoMiLkRoCkS said...

shut up

 
At February 10, 2007 7:03 PM , Blogger Kassie said...

I'm running late here - but this is a great post! I love "longest five years I've ever seen"

And yes, we are lucky we get to have life while we wait for a cure. :)

 

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